


Chester

by sajeki (dajaje)



Series: It's All Good, Man [4]
Category: Better Call Saul (TV), Breaking Bad & Related Fandoms
Genre: F/M, M/M, Medical Procedures, Mental Health Issues, Multi, Polyamory, Post-Episode: s05e16 Felina, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-26
Updated: 2016-12-26
Packaged: 2018-09-12 08:11:15
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 32,799
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9063670
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dajaje/pseuds/sajeki
Summary: Things take a dangerous turn when Jesse's real identity is discovered, culminating in a showdown that leaves everyone reeling.





	

 J.J. Walker, AKA Jesse Pinkman, stood outside the Institute and rubbed his hands together to warm them. He frowned when an unfamiliar car drove up and honked at him, until he saw Kim Wexler leaning across the seat and waving at him from the window. He hurried down the steps and made a quick trip around the orange Jeep Wrangler before opening the passenger door and getting in. “Sweet ride.”

“Thank you,” Kim replied. “I just got it.”

Jesse nodded as he looked around the interior. “I can totally picture you driving this.”

“Thanks. We were driving around and I saw the Jeeps and something just called out to me.” Kim glanced at Jesse. “You can drive it whenever you want.”

Jesse beamed. “Awesome. Once I feel up to driving, I’ll keep it in mind. Until then, I guess you guys are just gonna have to be my chauffeurs.”

“It’s my pleasure.” Kim reached over and patted Jesse on the leg. “Especially since I got my new set of wheels.”

“Right on.” Jesse settled into his bucket seat. “So you guys finally took the rental car back, huh? Or is Saul keeping it?”

Kim giggled. “No, we gave it back.” She paused. “He got a new car too.”

Jesse looked surprised. “No shit? What kind?”

Kim smirked. “You’re just going to have to wait and see.”

“Is he home?”

“He was when I left. He’s making his famous chili.”

When Kim turned into their driveway, Jesse peered out into the darkness for some sign of Saul’s car. When she continued driving around the house, he realized it must be in the garage and he sat back, waiting for her to open the garage door. His mouth dropped open when he saw the sleek metallic gray Cadillac SRX parked inside. “Wow.”

“Pretty sharp, huh?”

As soon as Kim pulled to a stop, Jesse hopped out of the Jeep and hurried over to the impressive looking SUV.

“Hey, don’t drool all over it,” Gene Taylor, AKA Saul Goodman, AKA Jimmy McGill, said as he walked into the garage.

Jesse looked at Saul in awe. “Dude, when you said you were thinking about getting an SUV, this is not what I imagined. At all.”

Saul ran a hand over the hood. “Yeah, she is pretty impressive, isn’t she?”

“You got the key?” When Saul pulled a key from his pocket and unlocked the doors, Jesse immediately climbed into the front seat. “It looks like a rocket in here!”

Saul went around and climbed into the driver’s seat. “All the latest technology.” He pointed with his thumb towards the back seat. “Check out the space. Big enough to have sex in?”

Jesse partially stuck his tongue out as he looked at Saul expectantly. “Wanna find out?”

“When I won’t freeze my balls off.”

Jesse chuckled as he leaned over the center console and gave Saul a deep kiss. “How ‘bout after dinner in our bedroom?”

Saul’s eyes twinkled. “Let’s go eat.”

Jesse got out of the car and was surprised to see Kim still sitting in her Jeep. He tapped on the window. When she rolled it down, he asked, “You gonna sleep in there?”

Kim smirked at Jesse before saying, “It comes with satellite radio, so I was listening to some of the stations to pick out a few favorites. I thought I had plenty of time since I figured you two were going to try out the backseat.”

Jesse smiled as Saul joined them. “Saul didn’t wanna freeze his balls off.”

Kim nodded at Saul. “Good call. I happen to be rather fond of your man parts.” She rolled up the window, pulled the key out of the ignition and got out of the car. “So I assume a rain check was offered instead?”

Saul grinned. “After dinner in the boudoir.”

Jesse slapped Saul on the arm. “I gotta piss.” He took off for the back steps at a jog.

Kim looked at Saul and sighed. “He’s so eloquent.”

Saul chuckled as he slid his arm around Kim and started walking towards the front of the house. “Come on. Let’s get inside so you can check my man parts for any frostbite.”

0 0 0

Richard “Richie” Michaels stared at his reflection in the mirror, running a hand over his shaved head. He turned his head from side to side as he admired his full moustache and goatee. Slipping on his sunglasses, he then hesitated before taking a deep breath, picking up the black porkpie hat and setting it atop his head. He smiled wolfishly at his image in the mirror before pulling his phone from his pocket and snapping a quick selfie.

0 0 0

“What do you think?” Alice asked. “Do your folks seem, like, weird to you?”

“No, so far they seem okay,” Jesse replied. He glanced past Alice and froze when he saw a younger version of Heisenberg across the room. He blinked a couple of times, but the vision didn’t disappear. “Hey, Alice,” he whispered, “do you see a guy standing over there by the door?”

Alice looked over her shoulder before returning her attention to Jesse. “Yeah. I think he’s new here, like a janitor or something.” She looked questioningly at Jesse. “Did you think you were hallucinating him?”

Jesse nodded. “He looks just like somebody I knew a long time ago.” He took a deep breath. “Glad he ain’t a hallucination. Those suck.”

Alice shrugged. “I had one once where I saw Legolas and Gimli riding a unicorn.”

Jesse smiled. “Cool.”

“Anyway, I can’t decide if my parents are the same weird they’ve always been, or if they’re a new weird from me being in the hospital.” Alice glanced at her watch. “Oh shit, I’ve gotta go! See you later!”

“Bye,” Jesse called after the fleeing girl. He glanced over at the door and frowned when he saw the Heisenberg-lookalike staring at him. He turned and left, trying to calm his nerves before getting to his next group session.

0 0 0

Richie looked down at the photo of Jesse on his phone. “Holy shit,” he whispered. “What are the chances?” He quickly glanced around before shoving the phone back into his pocket. He picked up his box and headed towards the supply closet.

0 0 0

Kim walked into the living room and frowned when she saw Saul sprawled on the sofa with Jesse. “How come you’re not ready?”

“Ready for what?” Saul asked.

Kim rolled her eyes. “It’s Thursday.”

“Oh!” Saul untangled himself from Jesse. “Uh...”

Jesse glanced from Saul to Kim. “What’s Thursday?”

“Karaoke night at a local bar,” Kim replied. “Jimmy’s getting quite the following.”

Saul looked at Jesse. “You wanna...?”

Jesse snorted. “Yeah, I was just telling Kim how much I wanna go out and get drunk and sing karaoke.”

Saul smirked at the younger man. “What about dinner?”

“Jesus, Jimmy, he’s not five. He can order a pizza. Now go change into something presentable.”

“O. Kay.” Saul got up and hurried into the bedroom.

“You’re looking killer,” Jesse told Kim. “Do you sing too?”

Kim smiled. “Only if I get drunk enough.” She walked over and sat on the sofa next to Jesse. “Are you sure you don’t want to go? It’s actually pretty fun.”

Jesse smiled. “No. Thanks, but no.”

Kim nodded. “Do you have money for a pizza?”

“Yeah. But I think I’m just gonna nuke a couple’a Hot Pockets and veg.” He stretched. “Maybe I’ll soak in the tub for a while.” He glanced up as Saul came into the room. “Wow, looking sharp.”

Saul spread his hands. “Can’t disappoint my fans.”

Jesse stood up with Kim and walked them to the door. “Okay, you kids. It’s a school night so you better be back by curfew or I’m gonna hafta ground you.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Saul muttered. He pulled Jesse to him and gave the younger man a deep kiss. “Be good.”

Jesse gave Kim a quick kiss before smirking at Saul. “I can be anything I want, ‘cause there ain’t nobody home to see.”

“Just don’t burn the place down,” Kim teased as she took Saul’s arm and they hurried out to the garage.

Jesse shut the door and leaned against it. After thinking a moment, he went to the freezer and pulled out a box of Hot Pockets.

0 0 0

Richie locked his front door behind himself before quickly removing his hat and coat. He sat down at his desk and booted up his computer, pulling out his phone as he waited for it to come up. He sent the photo to his own email address and opened it on his computer, then opened his special software. He sat back and exhaled when it came up with an exact match on Jesse Pinkman. “Yes! Jackpot!” he yelled as he raised his fist in victory.

0 0 0

Jesse came into the kitchen to see Saul nursing a cup of coffee. “You lost the coin toss, huh?”

Saul looked up at the younger man blearily. “What?”

“You have to drive me to the Institute.”

Saul waved Jesse off. “It’s fine.”

Jesse went to the fridge to get some orange juice, singing under his breath, “Fly me to the moon and la la la la la la la...”

“Nice, but those aren’t the lyrics.”

Jesse turned and smirked at the older man. “Sorry, your voice was a little muffled last night, what with you singing to Kim’s box and all.”

“I thought you were asleep.”

Jesse unscrewed the cap to the orange juice bottle and swigged directly from it. “Nope.”

Saul studied the younger man as Jesse took a few more gulps of juice before replacing the cap and putting the bottle back into the fridge. “If you were awake, how come you didn’t join us?”

Jesse shrugged as he pulled a box of frozen waffles out of the freezer and carried it to the toaster. “I thought it was like a date night or something.”

“Date night?” Saul shook his head. “No. It’s just something we found one night and we like going to it. You can come too, you know.”

“Ow!” Jesse quickly dropped the hot waffle onto the counter and blew on his fingers. “No, really, that’s okay.” Jesse put two more waffles into the toaster before taking the box back to the freezer. “I love you, dude, but not enough to sit through a bunch’a drunks singing off-key to sixty-year-old songs.”

Saul looked slightly indignant. “Well, that just goes to show how little you know about karaoke. While it’s true that some of the singers may have imbibed a few before taking the stage, most of them have pretty decent voices and some of the songs they sing are Top 40.”

There was a sparkle in Jesse’s eyes when he responded, “From when? 1985?” He carried his small stack of waffles to the table and sat across from Saul before he picked up the two on top and started eating them. “Dude, relax. It’s cool if you guys have a thing. We don’t gotta do everything together.”

Saul nodded. “I just want to make sure you know it’s not because we don’t want you to be with us.”

Jesse snorted. “More like I don’t wanna be with you guys.”

Saul smiled. “Fair enough.” He drained the last of his coffee and carried his cup to the sink. “We should probably get going.”

Jesse stood up and crammed the last of his waffles into his mouth as he started walking towards the door.

Saul shook his head. “Sometimes you act like you were raised by wolves.”

In response, Jesse opened his mouth to show his partially chewed food.

Saul grinned as he opened the door. “Okay, Mowgli, out you go.”

Jesse took the back steps two at a time, then stopped in the middle of the yard, swallowed, tilted back his head and howled loudly. He turned, smiling, as he looked at Saul, his smile fading when he saw the sad look on the older man’s face. “You okay?”

Saul inhaled deeply and nodded. “Yeah, just remembering something from a million years ago.” As he walked by Jesse, he slid his arm around the smaller man and directed him towards the garage. “What do you want to do this weekend?”

0 0 0

“Oh good, you’re both here.” Jesse walked across the kitchen and dropped a small stack of papers onto the table in front of Kim.

The blonde picked up the papers and looked at them. “What’s this?”

“Our new kitchen,” Jesse replied as he pulled out a chair and sat.

“What new kitchen?” Saul asked as he looked at the papers in Kim’s hands.

“The new kitchen we’re getting in here to replace this kitchen.”

Kim frowned. “Why would we replace this one? The old owners redid it last year.”

Jesse sighed. “Because it’s not efficient. Look.” He pointed across the room. “The fridge shouldn’t be all the way over there. It should be closer to the stove and sink, so they’re in a triangle. And that sink is too small. And there should be an island.”

Saul smiled at Kim. “Someone’s been watching HGTV.”

Kim looked up from the papers at Jesse. “Did you draw these?”

“Well yeah. I mean, they’re not like blueprints or anything, but Rusty said they’re good enough to work from.”

Kim smiled. “These are amazing. I mean, yeah, this kitchen would be awesome.”

“Who’s Rusty?” Saul asked.

“Rusty is a local contractor I’ve been talking to. I just wanted to get an idea of what we’d be looking at, you know?”

Kim pursed her lips. “But do we want to do a major reno this close to Christmas?”

“Actually, Rusty said this is a good time ‘cause there’s lots of construction guys outta work from the holidays. He said he could get a big enough crew to knock this out in a week, week and a half.”

“Really?”

“They always tell you that,” Saul interjected. “And all renos end up taking twice as long and costing twice as much as they quote you.”

Jesse shrugged. “So? It ain’t like we got plans for Christmas. And we got the money.”

Kim held up a sheet of paper. “What’s this?”

Jesse smiled. “The new mudroom.”

“Aww...” Kim held the paper out to Saul. “Look, Jimmy, a real, honest-to-goodness mudroom. No more tracking snow into the foyer or kitchen.”

Jesse looked expectantly from Kim to Saul. “So, should I call Rusty and give him the go ahead?”

Saul spread his hands. “I’m leaving this up to you two. As long as we end up with a fridge, stove and sink in the same room, I’m good with whatever you decide.”

Jesse and Kim high fived.

0 0 0

Kim turned off the bathroom light and walked back to bed, rubbing her abdomen. She contemplated crawling in next to Saul, but there wasn’t much room between him and the edge of the bed, so she returned to her usual spot and laid down next to Jesse. She tossed and turned for a few moments before she finally found a comfortable position and drifted back to sleep.

0 0 0

Jesse grimaced when Robert Bulatti pushed hard on his back right shoulder. “Easy, dude. I’m gonna need that later.”

“Well, if you didn’t spend your weekends playing Mr. Fix-it, I wouldn’t have to force all of these kinks out.” Robert eased off and poured more warm oil onto Jesse’s back before he started to rub Jesse’s other shoulder. “What was it this weekend? More furniture moving?”

“No, I was helping with the kitchen reno.”

Robert paused. “You’re renovating your kitchen this close to Christmas?”

“Yeah, this is a great time to do it ‘cause there’s all kinds’a construction guys looking for work. I think we got half of Chester in our house at any given time.”

Robert smiled. “They must love you guys.”

“Hey, that’s the whole neighbor thing, right? We help them and they help us?” Jesse let out a huge yawn. “When’s all’a this snow gonna melt off? I wanna ride my bike.”

Robert snorted. “You really are a flatlander, aren’t you? We’ll have snow on the ground until March, at the earliest.”

Jesse glanced over his shoulder. “You’re shitting me.”

Robert grinned. “Welcome to the snow belt.” He started massaging Jesse’s right calf. “You know you can still bike in the snow?”

Jesse looked skeptically over his shoulder. “Yeah?”

“Of course. Do you think people around here are going to let a little snow stop them from commuting on their bikes? Please.” Robert paused to pour more oil into his palms. “You just need the right equipment.”

Jesse snorted. “What, like snow tires?”

“Exactly.” Robert started working on Jesse’s left calf. “There’s a great bike shop up in Ludlow that can fix you right up.”

“Is that near here?”

“Yeah, it’s only about twelve, thirteen miles straight up the one-oh-three.”

“Right on, Robert! You know everything!”

Robert sighed. “Could you please tell Tony that? It would save so many arguments.”

0 0 0

Kim hurried in the front door and quickly closed it before stomping the snow off of her boots. She glared at Saul, who was sitting in the nearby living room drinking a cup of coffee, as she removed her hat, scarf, gloves and coat. “It’s like an X-rated Calvin and Hobbes cartoon out there. Only instead of snowmen killing each other, they’re all screwing.”

Saul nodded and smiled. “Some of those are pretty inspired.”

Kim sighed as she sat down next to Saul and poured a cup of coffee. “It would be nice if we could live here longer than a month before we get labeled as ‘those’ people.”

“Hey, he did them all up behind the barn. Everything in view of the street is strictly G-rated. The,” Saul made finger quotes, “adult versions are for our viewing pleasure alone.”

“Thank god for small favors,” Kim muttered before taking a sip, wincing when the sound of an electric saw came from the kitchen. She pointed at the door leading to the offending noise. “That was not a good idea.” She swallowed and looked at Saul, doing a double-take when she noticed him looking at he with one eyebrow raised. “What?”

Saul rubbed his chin. “Let me see. I seem to recall a conversation not that long ago...”

“Yeah, yeah.” Kim sighed, then drew in a deep breath. “It is going a lot faster than I’d hoped though.”

“Yeah, Rusty said it looks like they’ll have it finished by Saturday, if they can get the appliances here by then.”

“Good, that means J.J. can help them finish it up.”

Saul smiled. “I think Rusty was ready to offer him a job after the first couple of hours of watching him work.” He slid his arm around Kim’s shoulders. “You were pretty remarkable yourself, swinging that sledge hammer around.”

Kim giggled. “Taking down a whole wall was very... freeing.”

“It was also pretty damn sexy.”

Kim snorted. “Me without make-up, in pigtails and a baseball cap, with an inch of dust all over me.”

Saul cupped Kim’s chin in his hand. “It’s not the outfit, it’s the attitude.” He gave her a quick kiss.

Kim smiled at Saul, then sighed. “I just wish we hadn’t promised J.J. we wouldn’t peek before it’s done.”

Saul cocked his head a little to the side. “Don’t you trust his judgment?”

“I do, but...”

“The control freak inside of you is going nuts.”

Kim nodded. “Yeah, basically.” She settled back into the sofa and sighed. “I’m constantly amazed that I’m with you two. I mean, you I understand. You’re mostly my type. But how in the hell did I fall in love with some... street urchin?”

Saul chuckled. “Street urchin? You make him sound like Oliver Twist.”

Kim giggled. “You know what I mean. He’s the type of guy I stayed away from in high school.”

“Well, you’re not in high school anymore.” Saul shrugged. “And he’s not one of those guys.” Saul squeezed her hand. “And you said it yourself, he and I are alike in a lot of ways, so if I’m mostly your type, then so is he.”

“You’re right.” Kim pursed her lips. “He just seems So. Damn. Young. some times.”

Saul nodded in concession. “A fact which you often use to your advantage when Little Jimmy is down for the count.”

Kim snorted. “Little Jimmy, huh? I wouldn’t call him little.”

Saul preened. “I and not-so-little Jimmy thank you.” He smiled at Kim. “Hey, you want to watch a movie?”

“Yeah.” Kim nodded. “Yeah, that’s a great idea. Let’s get our minds off of things by doing something completely normal.”

0 0 0

“Hey, uh, excuse me?”

Jesse turned, freezing in his tracks when he saw the younger version of Heisenberg standing in front of him. He swallowed. “Yo.”

“Hi, my name is Richie and I just started working here. I was wondering if you could tell me where the gym is?”

“Oh, yeah, sure. If you go out the back door, keep going straight and it’s on your right after the greenhouse.”

Richie smiled. “Thanks, uh...”

“J.J.,” Jesse replied.

Richie nodded. “J.J., right. Okay, thanks, J.J.” He hesitated, then turned and left.

J.J. watched the other man go, then took a deep, calming breath and continued on his way.

0 0 0

Rusty scraped the last of the lasagna from his paper plate, put down his plastic fork and then sat back with a satisfied sigh. “That was great. Thanks for inviting me to stay for dinner.”

Kim smiled. “We’re glad you could stay.” She turned her attention to Jesse when the young man grimaced and rotated his right shoulder. “Are you okay? You’ve been doing that since you got home.”

Jesse shot Kim a startled glance. “Yeah. Yeah, I’m fine.” He glanced at Rusty, then looked down at his food again.

Kim looked at Rusty. “Would you like some more coffee?”

Rusty looked at his almost empty cup and shrugged. “Sure, that’d be great.” As Kim got up to retrieve the pot, he glanced around the crowded dining room at the fridge that had been moved in from the kitchen and a handful of small appliances scattered around on different surfaces. “I don’t know why you’re going to the trouble of redoing the kitchen when you have such a sweet set-up here,” he teased.

“Don’t even start down that road,” Kim insisted as she scooted her chair back and stood. “This is a perfect example of surviving versus living.” She went to the freezer and pulled out a bag of frozen peas, wrapped it in a dish towel and carried it over to place on Jesse’s shoulder.

Jesse put his hand over Kim’s and smiled up at her. “Thanks.”

Kim placed a kiss on Jesse’s head, then she got the coffee pot and refilled Rusty’s cup. She held the pot up to Saul, who nodded, so she filled his too before replacing the pot on the burner. When she sat down again, she asked Rusty, “Have you lived here long?”

“I was born down in Grafton,” Rusty replied. “I left home and joined the Navy when I was eighteen so I could see the world.” He blew out his breath. “Saw some of the world and a whole lot of the oceans.”

“I never seen the ocean,” Jesse remarked off-handedly. “What?” he asked when three sets of eyes turned to him.

“You’ve never seen the ocean?” Kim asked.

Jesse shook his head. “I never did much traveling. Before we went to Nebraska, the farthest I ever went was into Mexico.”

“Well, we have to do something to rectify this gross injustice,” Saul decided.

“It’s a straight shot across New Hampshire to the Atlantic,” Rusty added.

Jesse held up his hands. “Yo, can we wait until I can actually go into the water without turning into a human ice cube?”

“Yes, we can,” Kim replied. “Let’s plan on next summer. We can take a vacation to the shore.”

“Right on.” Jesse took the ice pack off his shoulder and placed it on the table. “So, what’d you do after the Navy?”

“I got discharged in San Diego, so I spent some time there. Then I moved up to San Francisco for a while.” Rusty shrugged. “About fifteen years ago, I decided I missed real seasons, so I moved back here.”

“He’s an engineer,” Jesse tossed out. “Not the kind that drives a train.”

Rusty chuckled. “No, no trains. I got a degree in Environmental Engineering from U.C. Berkeley.”

Kim looked impressed. “Wow, you must be very popular around here.”

Jesse frowned. “He’d be popular anywhere; he’s a nice guy.”

“Yes, he is,” Kim conceded with a smile. “But I meant that Vermont is really into saving the environment, so an Environmental Engineer would be very welcome.”

Saul studied the other man. “So the construction work...?”

“Is more like a hobby,” Rusty finished. He chuckled. “Well, I guess you could say it’s my other part-time job, since I only do occasional consulting jobs with the DEC. Department of Environmental Conservation,” he added. “That way I can live down here and only have to go to Montpelier a few times a year.”

Saul nodded. “Nice.”

“Kim and Gene are lawyers,” Jesse said proudly. “Really good lawyers.”

“Well, we were,” Kim countered. “We aren’t licensed to practice here yet.”

“Yeah, you could say we’re taking a little sabbatical,” Saul added.

Rusty nodded. “Nothing wrong with sabbaticals. Especially when you move to a new place. It’s always nice to have the chance to look around and get a lay of the land before you commit to anything.”

Kim smiled. “Exactly.”

Rusty looked at his watch and did a double-take when he saw the time. “Wow, I’m taking up your whole evening.” He pushed back his chair and stood. “Thank you all for a great meal and conversation. No, I can see myself out,” He said when he saw the other start to rise. “I’ll see you tomorrow, kiddo,” he told Jesse, then he nodded to Saul and Kim and picked up his coat before going out the front door.

“He’s a nice guy,” Kim remarked, getting up and picking up all of the disposable table ware and tossing them into the trash. “Everyone around here seems nice.”

“Yeah.” Jesse waited for Kim to finish, then he closed up the trash bag and picked it up. “Be back in a sec.”

Kim stopped behind Saul’s chair and slid her arms around his neck and rested her chin on his head. “Hey, there.”

Saul covered Kim’s hands with his own. “Hey yourself.” He hesitated before asking, “Are you thinking of taking the Bar?”

Kim sighed. “I haven’t decided yet.”

“You should. Like the kid said, you’re a great lawyer.”

Kim untangled herself from Saul and pulled at his chair until he scooted it back, then she moved around and straddled his thighs. “He said we were great lawyers, so are you thinking of taking the Bar?”

Saul pursed his lips. “I don’t know what I’m going to do.”

Kim smiled. “Fair enough.” She kissed him on the nose. “Lucky for you we don’t have to decide tonight.”

Saul captured Kim’s face in his hands and pulled her in for a sweet kiss. When they parted, he looked at the front door. “How long does it take to put the trash into the garbage can?”

Kim looked over her shoulder, then returned her attention to Saul. “He’s probably feeding the cow house cats.”

Saul frowned. “We have cow house cats?”

Kim raised an eyebrow. “Didn’t you think it was unusual that he took the trash out on your night without you even asking?”

Saul sighed. “First, raccoons in the cabin and now cats in the cow house. Why do I have a feeling he’s slowly and inconspicuously turning this place into an animal sanctuary?”

Kim stood and lightly slapped Saul on the shoulder. “Don’t be so paranoid. Everyone around here has barn cats, and the raccoons are getting an eviction notice come spring time.”

Just then the front door opened and Jesse stepped in, stomping the snow off his shoes. He grinned as he took off his coat and hung it up. “Dude, I just saw the weirdest little dogs out back. They’re really furry and have bushy tails.”

“That sounds like foxes,” Saul said, raising an eyebrow at Kim.

“Foxes?” Jesse replied. “Right on!”

Kim looked at Jesse. “You know not to feed them, right?”

“Yeah.” Jesse looked down, and then he looked at Saul. “Come on, I need you to warm me up.”

Saul scoffed as he stood. “What am I? You own personal heater?”

“Well, yeah, no shit.” Jesse smirked at Saul as the older man walked over to him, then he let out a loud “Oof!” when Saul pulled him into a tight embrace.

Saul shivered. “Jesus, you’re freezing!” He looked over Jesse at Kim. “Okay, I’m going to take Eskimo Joe to bed and see if we can get his blood circulating again.”

“I’ll be right behind you,” Kim promised. She turned off the light in the dining room and started to turn off the living room lamp when she noticed the laptop sitting on the coffee table. She hesitated, then walked over, sat down and opened it up. Once the web browser came up, she typed in ‘Vermont Bar Exam’.

0 0 0

Kim stopped in the doorway of her proposed reading room when she saw Jesse sitting on the floor looking at their laptop. She quietly walked in and sat down cross-legged next to him. “What’cha looking at?”

Jesse turned the laptop so she could look at the screen. “What do you think of this chair?” He scratched the end of his nose. “Well, I guess, technically, it’s a chair and a half.”

“Ooh, nice color,” Kim remarked as she studied the soft orange seat. “I like that matching storage ottoman too.”

“Yeah, I was thinking it would look good with that material you picked out for the curtains and bench cushion. And since it’s a chair and a half, it has plenty’a room for you to curl up in it when you’re reading. And you can keep a throw blanket in the ottoman.” Jesse shrugged. “Hell, you can keep anything in the ottoman. I could probably fit in there.”

Kim smiled. “You probably could.” She shifted slightly when Jesse stretched out and put his head on her right thigh. Once he was settled, she began absently running her fingers through his hair.

“How come you broke up with Jimmy?”

Kim sighed. “I didn’t really break up with Jimmy; I broke up with Saul.”

Jesse frowned. “But it’s the same person.”

“No. No, it’s not,” Kim refuted. “Jimmy is a sweet, kind...” She paused. “The guy we’re living with now? That’s Jimmy. Saul Goodman was a one-dimensional clown that Jimmy invented to get back at people for fucking him over.”

“She’s right,” Saul said from the doorway.

Jesse sat up and looked at Saul. “But Saul was the one who took care of me.”

Saul walked over and eased himself down onto the floor next to Jesse. “No, kid. Saul was the one who kissed Walt’s ass. Jimmy was the one who took care of you.”

Jesse studied Saul for a moment before asking, “Then why did you wanna be Saul again?”

Saul rolled his eyes and blew out his breath. “Ask me a hard question, why don’t you?” He shrugged. “I really liked the wheeling and dealing.”

Jesse nodded. “I liked dealing too. I liked going out and seeing my customers, checking in, that sort’a thing. I liked it a lot better than cooking.” He slumped when he saw the expression on Saul’s face. “Oh god, what did I say wrong? You got that ‘he’s so adorable’ look on your face.”

Saul reached out and playfully pinched Jesse’s cheek. “That’s because you are so adorable.”

Jesse batted Saul’s hand away. “Dick.”

“You see, that’s the thing,” Kim interjected, ignoring their banter. “You’re both very social people, so that’s the type of job you should look for. Something that lets you interact with people, but that also challenges you.”

Jesse laid back on Kim’s thigh with his hands clasped behind his head. “Well, I’m already being challenged and interacting with people. Plus, I got my Sugar Daddy and Mama giving me all’a the cheddar I need, so I’m all set.”

Kim looked down at Jesse skeptically. “And just what do we get out of this?”

Jesse looked up at Kim. “Awesome sex.”

Saul pursed his lips. “He’s got you there.”

Kim sighed. “Yep.”

0 0 0

Maggie Thatcher looked up when the bell at the front door of her book store tinkled. She smiled warmly. “Hi, Kim.”

“Hi, Maggie.” Kim looked around the small, cozy shop. “It looks so Christmasy in here.”

“Thank you. I just finished decorating last night.” Maggie came out from behind the counter. “Do you like essays?”

Kim thought a moment. “I suppose it depends what they’re on.”

Maggie smiled. “Good point. The new Zadie Smith book, Changing My Mind, just came in. I’ve always found her works extoll her keen eye and quick wit.” She picked up the book and handed it to Kim.

“Hmm.” Kim took the book and read the back cover. “Okay, you sold me.” She paused, thinking. “I’m looking for something light-hearted. A short novel that we can read in an evening. Maybe holiday-related.”

“John Grisham wrote one last year, Skipping Christmas. If I remember correctly, it’s about 200 pages, so it’s probably not going to be a one evening read. But it’s a cute story. I believe it’s over here in our holiday section.”

Kim followed Maggie across the shop. “We’re putting in a small library,” she mentioned.

Maggie smiled. “Oh how nice. Every home should have a library.”

“We’re converting one of the smaller bedrooms. Two of the walls will have floor to ceiling bookcases.” Kim smiled fondly. “It’s going to be my own retreat.”

“With two men in the house, you’re going to need it,” Maggie teased.

“I’m going to need to step up my reading too,” Kim replied. “I doubt I can even fill one shelf with books right now.”

Maggie put her hand on Kim’s arm. “I’ll be more than happy to help you with that, dear.”

0 0 0

Jesse stopped at the nurses’ station and looked around, surprised no one was there. He put his hands on the counter and began tapping out a quick beat, frowning when he saw Richie coming out of the inner office. “Yo.”

Richie froze, then quickly smiled. “Hey, J.J. I was just checking to see if anyone was in the back.” He glanced down the hall when he saw someone coming, then hurried around the counter to stand by Jesse, who moved a short distance away.

“Gentlemen, how can I help you?” Shirley asked as she came up to the station.

Jesse pointed at Richie with his thumb. “He was here first.”

Richie paused. “Uh, you know what? Never mind. It’s not important.” He gave a quick smile before turning and hurrying off.

Jesse watched him go, then returned his attention to Shirley. He leaned close and whispered, “Is it just me, or is that guy weird?”

Shirley bit back a smile. “I don’t know him well enough to say one way or the other.” She studied Jesse. “Has he been bothering you?”

Jesse glanced back and then looked at the nurse again. “No, not really. It just seems like he’s always where I am. Plus he reminds me of a guy I knew who was...” He shook his head. “I’m probably just imaging it. Anyway, wonderful Nurse Shirley, could you please give me a hit of cannabis oil? My shoulder is killing me.”

Shirley looked at him with one raised eyebrow. “Just when are you going to have that kitchen finished?”

“Saturday.”

Shirley smiled. “I’m just teasing you. I’ll be right back.”

“Thanks.” Jesse turned and leaned his elbows on the counter, nodding at Tony when the doctor wandered up. “Yo, Dr. B.”

“How are you today, J.J.?”

Jesse nodded. “Good. Just getting some oil for my shoulder.”

Shirley came out of the back office carrying a small brown bottle on a little plastic tray. “Here you go, J.J. Open up.” When he complied, she put two drops under his tongue.

Jesse smiled and gave the nurse a thumbs up, then he looked at Tony, tapped his watch and gave the doctor a thumbs up.

Tony smiled. “Yes, I’ll see you this afternoon.”

Jesse gave a little wave and then left.

Shirley shook her head as she watched Jesse disappear down the hall. “He’s just too cute for his own good.” She looked at Tony. “Did you want to see his chart again?”

Tony frowned. “Excuse me?”

“Isn’t that why you’re here? To finish up with his chart?”

“No, I wanted to ask you about Beth Jacobson. What’s this about J.J.’s chart?”

Shirley straightened up. “When I just got back here, I noticed J.J.’s chart was kind of haphazardly tossed on the desk. I just assumed...”

Tony shook his head. “I haven’t been down here all morning.”

Shirley narrowed her eyes. “Wait a minute. When I left to help Melanie with a patient, I locked that door, but it was open when I got back.”

“Was anyone else here?”

“None of the nurses,” Shirley reported. “Just J.J. and the new kid that works in...” She stopped. “I’m not sure what he works in.” She thought a minute before adding, “J.J. just told me that he thinks that the new guy is weird because he always seems to be wherever J.J. is. You don’t think he could be a stalker?”

Tony blew out his breath. “I don’t think it will hurt to find out. Do you remember the new guy’s name?”

Shirley rubbed her forehead, then nodded. “Richie.” She gave a brief description of him. “If he comes back around here, who should I call?”

“If he doesn’t work at this station and he keeps coming around, call security.” Tony nodded. “Thanks for the heads-up, Shirley. If anyone comes looking for me, tell them I’m in personnel, please.”

“You got it.” Shirley watched Tony leave, then picked up Jesse’s oil to return to the locked medicine cabinet in the inner office, unaware that Richie was watching her from the day room door.

0 0 0

Jesse stood back and looked around the new kitchen. “Dude, this is awesome!”

Rusty chuckled. “It did turn out pretty darn good.” He nodded as he looked around. “You were absolutely right about the crown molding. I had my doubts, but now that it’s all done, I can’t imagine the kitchen without it.” He smiled at Jesse. “Good call kiddo.”

Jesse beamed at the compliment. “Go ahead and take some pictures while I go find Kim and Gene.” Jesse went into the hallway and checked the living room before going upstairs. “Yo!” he called out.

“Back here,” Kim replied.

Jesse hurried to the back bedroom, stopping in the doorway. “Yo, that paint color is the bomb.”

Kim nodded as she looked at the walls. “It’s drying a little darker than I thought it would, but I still like it.”

“Hey, what about the trim?” Saul asked from where he stood on a ladder.

Jesse nodded. “I think the white looks good.” He cleared his throat. “If you got a minute, the kitchen’s done.”

“Why didn’t you say so?” Kim demanded as she put her paint roller into the pan and slipped both into a plastic bag while Saul carefully made his way down the ladder and put his supplies into another plastic bag. “Come on, let’s go see it.”

Jesse led the way, then stood aside so Kim and Saul could get the full view of the newly renovated space.

Kim’s mouth dropped open as she turned completely around. “Oh. My. God.”

“Wow.” Saul nodded in appreciation.

“Pretty cool huh?” Jesse pressed. “It kind’a keeps the old feel of the place but with all’a the modern conveniences.”

Kim turned to Jesse. “This is so much better than just cool, sweetie. This is amazing.” She moved her attention to Rusty. “You and your guys did great work.”

Rusty waved her off. “I just did what the boss,” he pointed at Jesse with his thumb, “told me to do.”

“Bullshit,” Jesse replied quietly. “You guys did most’a the work.”

“You all did a great job,” Saul interjected. “And now we have an amazing kitchen.”

“And a mudroom,” Jesse added.

Kim looked surprised. “The mudroom is done too?” Without waiting for an answer, she hurried through the kitchen. “Holy moly!” She sighed happily. “No more snow tracked into the foyer.”

Jesse pointed to an empty space along one wall. “Obviously the new washer and dryer ain’t here yet, but everything else is done.”

Kim sat down on a padded bench. “I can sit here to put on and take off my boots. And there’s plenty of hooks to hang our coats and other stuff.”

“Not to mention all of this cupboard space,” Saul pointed out as he opened doors and looked inside at the storage space.

“I’m glad you like it,” Rusty said. “I’m gonna get on home and let you folks enjoy your new kitchen.”

The three bid Rusty farewell before moving back into the kitchen and sitting down at the new dining table there.

“This really is amazing,” Saul remarked, reaching out to take Jesse’s hand. “You should be very proud of yourself, sweetheart.”

“Yes, you should,” Kim agreed, taking Jesse’s free hand.

Jesse shrugged. “I don’t really feel like I did that much.”

Kim looked surprised. “You designed the whole thing. You picked out all of the finishes, and you actually did the construction when you could. You did a lot.”

Jesse slowly smiled. “Yeah, I guess I did, huh?”

“Yes, you did,” Saul agreed, squeezing Jesse’s hand.

Jesse looked around happily. “We should have a party to celebrate.”

“Before we have anyone over here, you need to get rid of the adult snow scene out back,” Kim said.

Jesse grinned. “Haven’t been out back lately, have you?”

Kim looked from Jesse to Saul. “What?”

“Seems like our fornicating friends were so busy going at it that they didn’t see Godzilla coming out of the woods straight at them.” Saul shook his head. “It was a sad, sad day in snow town.”

Jesse nodded. “At least they all died happy.”

0 0 0

Saul looked up from the stew he was making when he heard the backdoor open. His smile faded when he saw Jesse’s glum expression. “Everything okay?”

Jesse nodded. “Just went over some rough shit today in therapy.” He started to remove his coat, then slipped it back on. “I’m gonna go out to the barn for a little while.”

Kim hung her jacket on a hook and walked into the kitchen. “I talked to Robert for a bit and he said almost everyone at the Institute is feeling down. He said it’s usually like this at the holidays.”

“Norman Rockwell syndrome,” Saul said as he put the lid back on the pot. “Unrealistic expectations. Especially for people from dysfunctional families.”

Kim leaned into Saul. “Ooh, you know I love it when you use big words.”

Saul grinned before giving Kim a tender kiss. “Any suggestions about what we should do for him?”

Kim blew out her breath. “Just the usual: be there if he needs us, be patient and love him.”

“Any idea what they went over in therapy?”

Kim leaned against the counter. “Nope.” She studied Saul for a moment. “I’ll watch the stew if you want to go out and ask him about the barn cats.”

Saul closed his eyes and sighed heavily, then he opened his eyes and drew a deep breath. “Patient and loving. Patient and loving,” he murmured as he walked to the mudroom to retrieve his coat.

“I have complete faith in you,” Kim called from the stove.

“That’s one of us,” Saul mumbled under his breath as he went out the backdoor and hurried across the snow-covered yard to the barn. He went in the side door and shut it quickly against the cold, smiling at Jesse’s questioning look. “I hear there are critters here.”

Jesse gave a little smile. “Just cats.”

“That you can see,” Saul countered as he slowly walked over to where Jesse was standing and smiled when he saw three cats eating from a large bowl of kibble.

Jesse frowned. “What does that mean?”

“If you have cats in the barn, it usually means you have mice in there too. That’s what the cats come in for.”

Jesse nodded, impressed. “Cool. So they’re like the exterminators.”

They both watched the cats eat for a minute before Saul asked, “Have you given them names?”

Jesse nodded and pointed. “The gray and white one with the big head is Scraggy. The black and white one is Cow Cat. And the little mixed color one is Patches.”

“She’s a calico,” Saul said casually. When Jesse looked at him, he added, “Cats with all of those colors are called calicos, and they’re almost always girls.”

Jesse grinned and shook his head. “Dude, you know everything.”

Saul scoffed. “Not by a long shot.” He smiled as he looked at the cats. “Great names.”

“Thanks. I wasn’t sure who was a boy or girl so I figured I should go with, uh, what do you call it?”

“Ambiguous?”

“Yeah, ambiguous names.”

Saul cleared his throat when Scraggy turned and started walking away. “Well, he is definitely a male.”

Jesse narrowed his eyes as he looked at the cat, and then he grinned. “Are those his gnads?”

“Yep.”

“Damn, he’s got a pair, ain’t he?”

“Yep.” Saul cleared his throat. “So with him being a him, and little Miss Patches being a her, chances are our cat population is going to grow soon.”

Jesse looked at Saul, confused, and then a grin slowly spread across his face. “Kittens?”

“Bingo!”

Jesse started walking around the cats, stopping to peer at the backside of Cow Cat. “Yes!” He fist-pumped. “Sorry, sorry,” he quickly apologized when Cow Cat startled. “Keep eating.” He slowly walked back over to Saul.

“Well?”

“No wonder Scraggy’s happy: He’s got two girlfriends.”

“Swell,” Saul said as he rolled his eyes.

Jesse glanced at Saul. “Do you wanna have kids?”

Saul raised his eyebrows. “Wow, that came out of left field.”

Jesse walked over and sat down on a straw bale. “We were talking about future plans and Dr. Bulatti asked if I ever thought about if I wanted to have kids.” He scooted over a little to let Saul sit next to him. “I mean, I really like kids. But I don’t know if I wanna have my own. But I don’t wanna say no if you and Kim are thinking about having some.”

“Kid, I’m almost fifty years old. I thought about kids when I got married years ago, which, thank god it never happened seeing as what a mess that turned out to be. But now?” He shook his head. “No.” He put his hand on Jesse’s knee. “I’ve been steeling myself for when you decided you wanted to have one. I mean, you’re still young enough to actually be able to play football with him when he’s in high school.”

Jesse huffed out a little laugh. “How about Kim? Does she want kids?”

Saul shrugged. “Maybe we should ask her. Wait,” he added when Jesse stood up. “It doesn’t have to be right now.”

“Why not right now?”

Saul paused, then stood. “Sure, why not right now.” He followed Jesse out of the barn, across the yard and into the back door, wanting to see the look on Kim’s face when Jesse asked her.

“Yo, Kim!” Jesse said as he slipped off his coat and put it on a hook while stomping the snow off of his shoes. He kicked them off into the corner while Saul removed his own coat.

“Yo, J.J.!” came Kim’s response from the living room.

“Come on.” Jesse grabbed Saul’s hand and led the other man through the kitchen and dining room.

Kim looked at them. “What’s up?”

Jesse released Saul’s hand and dropped down onto the coffee table in front of where Kim sat on the sofa. “Do you want to have a baby?”

“Uh...” Kim frowned at Saul and then turned her attention to Jesse. “I...” She cleared her throat. “What makes you ask?”

“In therapy today, Dr. Bulatti asked if I ever thought about having kids.”

Kim cleared her throat again. “Well, I hadn’t planned on having kids...”

“Oh thank god!” Jesse interrupted, reaching across to pull Kim forward for a quick kiss.

“Okay.” Kim looked from Jesse to Saul, confused. “I take it that was the right answer?”

“You just made it unanimous,” Saul explained. “It seems we are all at a point in our lives where we would prefer not to have the responsibility of children.”

Kim studied Jesse. “You’re really okay with not having kids?”

“Yeah, like I told Saul, I like kids, but, at least for now, I don’t want to have my own.” He looked down at his hands. “I know it sounds selfish, but I like my life the way it is, with just you guys.”

Kim reached out and took Jesse’s hands in hers. “Well, if you’re selfish, then we are too, right?”

Jesse glanced up at Kim. “Yeah.”

“Are you feeling better?” Saul asked Jesse.

Jesse nodded. “And now I don’t gotta keep worrying about that I’m keeping you guys from having kids.”

“Me too,” Saul and Kim said at the same time.

Kim settled back in her seat. “I guess there is something to this talking about your feelings thing, huh?”

Jesse looked at Saul. “Do I smell dinner?”

Saul got up. “Yeah, we’re having stew.”

“Go ahead and run away,” Kim told them as they both started to leave, “but I’ll remember that you two started this conversation for future reference.”

Jesse elbowed Saul. “Why’d you have to ask her right now?”

Saul stopped and looked at Jesse. “Me?”

Jesse smirked at Saul and took off running for the kitchen.

“You little...” Saul hurried after the younger man.

Kim got up from the sofa and muttered under her breath, “Like we need any more kids in this house.”

0 0 0

Jesse walked through the Institute lobby and dropped several boxes onto the counter of the nurses’ station.

“What’s this?” Shirley asked.

“Merry Christmas Eve Eve!” Jesse said as he pulled the top box off of the stack and opened it to reveal several different kinds of holiday cookies.

“Oh look at these!” Shirley said as she took one out and bit into it. “Did you make these?”

“Yeah, me and Kim and Gene. We had to test out the new kitchen.”

“Mmm, this is fantastic! Justina, come here and try one of these,” Shirley called out to the other nurse.

“J.J., what did you do?” Justina teased as she came over. “Oh you shouldn’t have.” She picked up a cookie and took a bite. “Oh my goodness, these are delicious!”

“Good, I’m glad you like them.” Jesse picked up the other boxes. “Gotta bounce. If I don’t see you before I leave this afternoon, have a Merry Christmas!”

“You too, J.J.,” Shirley said, while Justina, whose mouth was full of cookie, waved.

0 0 0

When Saul pulled up in his SUV, Jesse hurried down the stairs, opened the passenger door, slid into the front seat and leaned over to give Saul a kiss. “Hey.”

“Hey, yourself,” Saul replied. “You look like you’re in a good mood.”

“Three days off!” Jesse held up three fingers. “And one of them is Christmas!”

Saul started down the drive towards the street. “Looks like you were able to get rid of all of the cookies.”

“Yeah, I thought Robert and Dave were gonna get into a fight over the last box.”

Saul snorted. “That would have been worth the price of admission.”

Jesse shook his head, confused, then said, “Everybody loved ‘em. Three different people said we should open a bakery.”

“Yeah, I’ll keep that in mind.” When they got to the street, Saul turned right instead of left.

“Where we going?”

“I still need to find something for Kim,” Saul confessed. “And I’ve checked out all of the stores in Chester. Maybe Springfield will have a better selection.”

“Selection of what?”

Saul glanced at Jesse. “Presents.”

Jesse snorted. “You don’t have a fucking clue of what you’re gonna get her, do you?”

“I have a vague idea,” Saul hedged.

“Look!” Jesse pointed across the street. “Just get her a gift card to Barnes & Noble. Then she can pick out books for her reading room.”

“Gift cards are for chumps,” Saul dismissed as he continued down the street.

0 0 0

Kim came out of the bedroom wrapping her robe around herself. She stopped in the doorway of the living room and smiled softly. “Wow.”

“Norman Rockwell, eat your heart out,” Saul said as he opened his arms wide to indicate the festive appearance of the room. “We even have the obligatory roaring fire.” He looked at the small blaze and shrugged. “We have a fire.”

Kim glanced around in wonder as she slowly walked into the room. “This is amazing.”

“Yo, yo, yo, Merry Christmas,” Jesse said as he came in from the dining room carrying a tray with three mugs on it. “I come bringing Aunt Jenny’s hot chocolate for all of the good little girls and boys.”

“Guess that means I get his,” Kim said, indicating Saul.

“Careful, now,” Saul shot back. “I haven’t given you your gift yet.”

Kim stepped up to Saul and ran her hands up his chest. “I only meant that you were bad in all the best ways.”

Saul raised his eyebrows. “Oh.” He cupped Kim’s face with his hands and gave her a long kiss. “Maybe later you can give me a spanking.”

“Dudes, come on,” Jesse whined. “Chocolate’s getting cold.”

Kim giggled as she hurried over to sit next to Jesse on the sofa. “Merry Christmas, sweetie!” She leaned over and gave him a quick kiss. “Thanks.” She took the mug he offered her and sipped it. “Mmm, this is good. What’s in it?”

“Nutmeg and vanilla.”

“It is good,” Saul agreed. “Later on I’ll make us some egg nog.”

Jesse set his mug on the table. “But let’s open presents first!” He got up and brought back a hastily wrapped package that he gave to Saul and a nicely wrapped package that he handed it to Kim. “I didn’t wrap that.”

Kim carefully unwrapped the present Jesse had given her, then she set the inner box in her lap and pulled off the lid. Pushing aside the tissue paper, she drew in a breath when she saw the beautiful woven blanket inside. She pulled out the soft cotton material and rubbed it against her cheek. “Where did you find this? It matches the reading room colors perfectly.”

Jesse grinned, pleased. “I didn’t find it. Chase’s grandma has a loom and she wove it for me when I showed her a little piece of the curtain material.”

“Oh my god.” Kim wrapped the blanket around herself. “This is soft and warm and perfect.” She put one arm with the blanket around Jesse. “Thank you, sweetie!”

Jesse blushed slightly as he looked at the blonde. “You deserve beautiful things.”

Kim dropped the blanket so that she could cup Jesse’s face with both hands to give him a long kiss. “I love you so much.”

“I love you too.” Jesse turned his gaze to Saul, who was sitting on the sofa with a soft grin on his face. “Yo, you gonna open that?”

“Keep your pants on,” Saul muttered as he started tearing open the small package.

Jesse leered at the older man. “That ain’t what you said last night.”

Saul just shook his head as he finally got the small box open. “Cool, a shot glass,” he said as he lifted out the small measuring cup. “Hey, it looks like an old Coke glass.” He smiled at Jesse. “Thanks.”

“That ain’t all,” Jesse said. “I just couldn’t fit the rest of it into that tiny box.” When Saul looked at him with raised eyebrows, Jesse simply said, “Go check out the basement.”

Kim sprung to her feet and hurried to grab Saul’s hand and pull him up. “Come on!”

Jesse joined them as Kim pulled Saul across the house to the basement door. “Wait!” he called out. “We need a blindfold or something so he can’t see.”

“How about if I close my eyes?” Saul suggested.

“Okay, but don’t peek,” Jesse instructed as he and Kim carefully led the older man downstairs. He nodded to Kim, who hurried over to the wall. “Okay, you can look now.”

Saul opened his eyes, then blinked a couple of times when he saw what had been done to a large portion of the basement. “Holy shit.” He slowly glanced around, taking in the bar, juke box, pool table and poker table. “What the...?” He looked at Jesse, stunned. “How...?”

Jesse bit his lower lip. “Do you like it?”

“Like it? Jesus christ, I wanna move in here!” Saul threw his arms around Jesse and lifted the smaller man and swung him around. “This is the best present anyone’s ever given me!”

Jesse was giggling when Saul finally put him down. He caught his breath and pointed at the wall over the bar. “There’s one more thing. Hit it,” he told Kim.

Saul’s mouth dropped open when a large neon sign lit up that said, ‘It’s all good, man!’ “Oh my god,” he whispered as he swallowed hard and blinked back his tears. He looked at Jesse with wonder, then carefully cupped the young man’s face and gave him a long, tender kiss. “It’s perfect,” he said when they parted. “You’re perfect.”

“Kim helped too,” Jesse said. “We picked out the stuff online and she supervised the guys working down here.”

“When?” Saul asked, looking at Kim when she joined them.

Kim grinned. “Well, let’s just say that I really didn’t run that many errands into town.”

“While me and Rusty and some guys were working upstairs on the kitchen, there was a whole ‘nother crew down here working.”

Saul grinned. “You sneaky little so and so’s.” He put his arms around both Jesse and Kim and pulled them into a tight hug. He gave them each a kiss on the head, then let them go and started wandering around the room. “This is...” He shook his head. “I don’t even have the words for it.”

Jesse went to the bar, pulled out a stool and sat down. “When Kim told me about that pub you like going to, I thought maybe I blew it by going retro.”

“Oh, you did not blow it, kid. Believe me.” Saul stopped and looked at the listing on the juke box. “Holy shit!” He turned to look at Kim and Jesse. “Where’d you get these records?”

“There are more second-hand record stores in a thirty-mile radius of here than you can possibly imagine.” Kim went to a cupboard and opened it. “When you get tired of those, we have plenty of replacements.”

Jesse slipped off the stool and went to an antique coke machine. “Check this out.” He opened the door and pulled a glass bottle of Coke from one of the round openings. He put the cap under an opener, popped it off and took a long swig. “You can even buy the old bottles for this.”

Saul walked over and looked at the machine. “Sweet.” He held out his hand. “That’ll be a quarter please.” When Jesse just slapped his outstretched hand, he reached out and pulled the bottle of soda from Jesse’s other hand.

“Hey!”

Saul casually drank from the bottle as he continued walking around the bar.

Jesse pulled two more bottles from the machine and opened them before carrying one over to Kim.

“Thanks.” Kim sipped her Coke, then watched as Saul checked out the pool table. “We saw a really awesome one that was built onto the bottom half of an old Caddy, but, aside from the astronomical price, we couldn’t figure out how to get it in here.”

“This one’s perfect,” Saul said, rolling the cue ball across the surface. He sipped his Coke and glanced around. “Like I said, this whole place is perfect.”

0 0 0

Kim picked a book off of the top of the tall stack in the unused spare bedroom. “National Velvet.” She smiled at Saul. “I loved reading this when I was a little girl.”

“I was promised that these were the classics that no home library should be without,” Saul replied.

Kim ran her hand down the stack, taking in the titles, before turning and giving Saul a big hug. “Thank you!” She looked at Jesse and sighed. “Too bad I don’t have any bookshelves to put them on.”

Jesse looked surprised. “Dude, it’s not like I haven’t been busy. Plus, I gotta take everything over to Rusty’s to work on.”

Saul rubbed his chin. “Too bad there wasn’t some place closer where you could work on them.”

Jesse looked from Saul to Kim. “No way.”

“Maybe way,” Kim countered.

Saul nodded. “Probably way.”

Jesse frowned. “Where is it?”

“Out in the barn, where you practically live,” Saul said with a hint of exasperation. “It’s behind the building supplies boxes,” he called out when Jesse bolted out of the room.

“Come on!” Kim grabbed Saul’s hand and followed Jesse through the house, out the backdoor and to the barn.

“Could I have at least gotten my coat?” Saul asked when they finally stopped.

After Jesse cleared away the boxes hiding his wood shop, he froze and stared wide-eyed at all of the machines. “No fucking way,” he finally breathed before taking a few tentative steps towards the band saw. He slowly turned and looked at everything, then he looked down and started crying.

Kim went over and put her arms around Jesse. “These are good tears, right?”

Jesse nodded as he swiped at his cheeks. “Nobody ever gave me nothing like this before.”

“Good,” Saul said as he stepped closer and put his arms around Jesse and Kim. “I want us to be the people who spoil you, because you deserve it.”

“Damn right,” Kim agreed.

Jesse looked up into Saul’s face, then he turned to the bigger man, slipping his arms around Saul’s waist as he began sobbing heavily against the older man’s chest.

Saul glanced helplessly at Kim, then he wrapped his arms around Jesse, cupping one hand behind the young man’s head. “Hey, it’s okay. You deserve every bit of this. And more.”

Jesse finally pulled away enough to look into Saul’s face. “I think I need to lay down for a little while.”

Saul smiled softly as he wiped away some of Jesse’s tears. “Sounds like a good idea.”

Jesse wiped away the rest of the wetness from his face before taking Saul’s hand in his, then he reached out his other hand to Kim, who took it and all three of them walked back to the house in silence.

0 0 0

Jesse munched on a cookie while he sat cross-legged on the floor and stared into the fire. After he swallowed the last bite, he groaned and laid back, putting his hands on his stomach. “Don’t let me eat anymore cookies,” he groaned. “I feel like I gained five pounds.”

Saul looked up from his solitaire game on the laptop at the same time Kim looked up from her book. They exchanged amused glances, then Saul reached out, picked up a cookie and tossed it at Jesse, which bounced off his face and landed on his chest.

“Du-ude!” Jesse picked up the cookie, sat up and glared at Saul.

“Eat up,” Saul insisted. “Another twenty-five, thirty pounds and those pants will actually fit you.”

Jesse smirked at the older man as he got to his feet and walked over to where Saul was sitting. “Another twenty-five, thirty pounds and I won’t be able to do this...” he climbed on the sofa on his knees and straddled Saul’s lap, “without squashing your old ass.”

Saul grinned. “Well, we can’t have that, can we?” He put his arms around Jesse when the smaller man settled against his chest, resting his chin on Jesse’s head.

Jesse sighed happily. “I think you’re my new addiction, dude. No matter how much I get, I still want more.”

Kim put down her book and moved closer to the two men. “Oh baby, no,” she teased in mock seriousness. “I got hooked on him and look how much it aged me: I’m really only twenty-three years old!”

Jesse giggled as he turned to look at the blonde. “How old are you really?”

Saul snorted and Kim swatted him on the arm. “Thirty-eight,” she replied.

Jesse smiled. “No, really.”

Kim frowned. “What, do I look older?”

Jesse straightened up. “You’re serious? Dude, I thought you were just, like, thirty.”

Saul cleared his throat. “I know who’s getting a blow job tonight.”

Kim smirked at Saul. “Yeah, and I know who’s not getting one too.”

Jesse looked at Saul. “You said you were almost fifty.”

“Yeah, I just turned forty-eight.”

Jesse slowly smiled. “Damn, you do like to rob the crib, don’t you?”

Saul shook his head and smiled. “It’s cradle, not crib. And no, it just so happens that the two people I fell for are younger than I am.” He pressed his finger against the tip of Jesse’s nose. “Or maybe it’s you that’s into...” he frowned, “uh...”

Jesse snorted. “Grave robbing?”

“Okay, that’s enough,” Kim decided. “Age is just a state of mind anyway.”

Jesse gazed into Saul’s eyes. “Yeah, she’s right,” he agreed. “You don’t fuck like no fifty-year old guy.” Jesse licked his lips then pressed them against Saul’s, moaning when the older man captured his face and deepened the kiss.

When they broke apart, Jesse drew in a shaky breath. He searched Saul’s face and then nestled his head against the bigger man’s chest again. “Hold me forever, okay?” he asked quietly.

Saul slid his arms around Jesse and kissed the top of the younger man’s head. “Anything for you, kid.”

Kim gently patted Saul on the arm, then picked up a cookie and settled back into the sofa to continue reading.

0 0 0

Kim, Jesse and Saul stood at the front window and watched as the snow continued to fall sideways in the heavy wind.

“Guess I ain’t gonna try out my snowshoes today.” Jesse huffed his breath onto the glass and drew a sad face.

Saul patted Jesse on the shoulder. “Yeah, but when you’re old and gray you can tell everyone you survived the Blizzard of 2010.”

“Good day to stay inside and read,” Kim said, turning to go back to the sofa. She just settled in when all of the lights went out. She sighed and looked at Saul and Jesse. “Maybe we should look into getting a generator this week.”

Saul nodded. “Good point. I’ll put it at the top of my to-do list.”

Jesse yawned and stretched. “Good day to stay inside and nap and fuck.”

Saul pointed at the younger man. “I like the way you think.”

Kim got up and dropped her book onto the coffee table. “Can’t argue with logic like that.”

0 0 0

Jesse pulled back the covers and slid into bed.

“Hmm?” Saul mumbled.

“Go back to sleep,” Jesse urged quietly as he snuggled up to the older man. “The Institute is closed from the weather. I don’t gotta go in today.”

“Mmm.” Saul adjusted his head on his pillow. “If it’s gonna keep snowing like this, I’m gonna hafta get some Viagra.”

Jesse smiled and patted Saul’s stomach. “Nah, you’re good.”

“You’re very good,” Kim murmured as she rolled over and settled on Saul’s other side.

Saul fell back to sleep with a wide grin on his face.

0 0 0

“Hey, Dr. B,” Jesse greeted as he went into the doctor’s office and sat down. “Did you have a good Christmas?”

“Yes, I did. How about you?”

Jesse nodded. “It was good. I got overwhelmed and had to lay down for a while, but that was okay.”

“It’s very easy to get overwhelmed on major holidays. Anything in particular that tipped the scales for you?” When Jesse just looked at him, Tony explained, “Was there anything specific that overwhelmed you?”

“Gene and Kim gave me a wood shop,” Jesse replied. “I mean, like all kinds of power saws and shit. It’s better than the one my high school had.”

“Wow, that was a nice gift.”

“Yeah, totally nice. I started crying and said nobody ever gave me nothing like that, and Gene said they wanted to be the ones to spoil me ‘cause I deserve it.” Jesse paused and blinked back tears. He swallowed hard. “It’s just that, after people treating me like shit, I don’t know what to do when they’re nice to me.”

“Especially when you’re still not completely convinced that you deserve it?”

Jesse scratched his head. “Well, yeah, like, why me?” He sighed when Tony just looked at him. “Yeah, I mean, I know, why not me, but it’s still so hard sometimes.”

“Jesse, you weren’t made to feel undeserving overnight, so you can’t expect to get past it that quickly either.”

“Yeah, I know.” Jesse bit his lower lip. “I was just thinking the other day, and do you know that it’s only been, like, a little over three months since I got outta that compound? Fuck, it seems like a whole ‘nother lifetime ago.”

“I’ve seen remarkable growth and change in you in just the two months that I’ve known you.” Tony leaned forward. “Next time you think you don’t deserve this, I want you to remember something: I have patients I’ve been treating for six months or more that haven’t made the progress that you’ve made in two months. That’s because you’ve worked your butt off to get where you are. So give yourself the credit you’re due.”

Jesse looked down and blushed. “Okay. Thanks.” He raised his gaze. “I got a question: I was joking to Gene the other day that he’s my new addiction, but I don’t really feel like it’s a joke. I feel like I gotta be with him and I wanna fuck him all’a the time.”

“And what’s your question?”

Jesse shrugged. “Could I really be addicted to him?”

“First, let me ask you a question: Have you been in love before?”

“I was in love with Jane.”

“How did she make you feel?”

Jesse slowly grinned. “Like I wanted to be with her and fuck her all’a the time.”

“Then I think you answered you own question.”

Jesse frowned. “But why don’t I feel that way about Kim?”

“How do you feel about Kim?”

Jesse thought a moment. “I really like being with her, and I love cuddling with her, and talking to her, and the sex is good, but I don’t feel like I have to be with her.”

“So you might say you’re more sexually attracted to Gene, and that you have a deeper connection with Kim?”

“Yeah, I guess.” Jesse paused. “But shouldn’t I love them both the same?”

“They’re not the same person, so why should you love them the same?” Tony thought a moment, then continued, “Relationships are fluid. One of these days you may find yourself lusting after Kim while you just want to cuddle with Gene. As long as you are all committed to making sure no one feels left out, it doesn’t matter how things manifest themselves at any given time.”

Jesse considered the doctor’s words. “So then I’m not addicted to Gene?”

“No, you’re in what is often referred to as the honeymoon stage, which is when people first fall in love and can’t get enough of each other.”

Jesse settled back in his seat and smiled. “Cool, and we didn’t even have to put out any cheddar for a wedding.”

Tony smiled, then sobered. “Speaking of addictions, how are your cravings lately?”

“Better. I go whole days without thinking about smoking a bowl.”

“Outstanding. And switching to smoking marijuana instead of taking the cannabis oil hasn’t been a problem?”

“No, not really. But I don’t really like smoking blunts. I need to get a bong.”

Tony looked confused. “Why don’t you like them?”

“Blunts are too harsh,” Jesse replied. He waved off the thought. “Bongs make the smoke smoother.”

“Interesting.”

“Yeah, so if you guys wanna save your papers, you can just give me loose leaf from now on.”

“I’ll make a note of that, but I’m not sure what our options are.” Tony jotted a note in Jesse’s chart. “Anything else?”

“Does it always snow like this?”

Tony chuckled. “Not like this, but we do get a fair amount of snow every year.”

Jesse sighed. “Then maybe we should talk about upping my Zoloft, ‘cause I’m used to having, like, three hundred and twenty-something days of sunshine.”

“I can see where the weather might pose a problem.” Tony rubbed his chin. “We can certainly try raising your dosage, but you might also want to try sitting under a light therapy lamp.”

“What’s that, like, a grow lamp?”

“Similar. They give off the same full spectrum of light as the sun, so, in essence, it tricks your body into thinking you’ve been out in the sun.”

Jesse nodded. “Might be better than upping my meds.”

“I’m for trying something natural first,” Tony admitted. He glanced at his watch. “Wow, we’ve gone over by fifteen minutes. Somebody’s probably down in the car cursing my name.”

“Nah, they’re cool,” Jesse said as he got up. “It’s probably Kim and she’s probably still trying to set the stations on her satellite radio.”

Tony smiled. “If she needs help, ask Robert. He set all of mine.”

“Cool. Thanks, Dr. B. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Bye, J.J.”

Jesse hurried down the stairs to the lobby and stopped by the coat room to get his coat. As he was hurrying across the lobby, he saw Robert and called out to the young man.

“Hey, J.J., going home?” Robert asked.

“Yeah. Hey, do you know of any head shops around here?”

“Looking for a bong?” Robert guessed. “A lot of people prefer them to the joints. Anyway, The Magic Mushroom is right on your way home, just turn right onto Old Chester Road and it’ll be on your left.”

“Robert, my man with all’a the answers.” Jesse put his hand up and Robert high-fived him.

“See you tomorrow, J.J.”

Jesse hurried out the front door and down the steps, mildly surprised to see Saul in his SUV. “Dude, I wasn’t expecting you,” he said as he slid into the passenger seat.

“Kim suggested I pick you up,” Saul replied. “I think she’s had enough closeness for a while.”

“I got a stop to make.”

Saul looked interested. “Oh yeah? What for?”

“I’ll give you a hint: the name of the place is The Magic Mushroom.”

“Ah, bongs r us, got’cha.” Saul put the car in gear. “Where to?”

“Go like you would to go home, but turn right onto Old Chester Road.”

Saul started driving, then glanced at Jesse. “You were a little late. Any problems you want to talk about?”

“Nope, no problems,” Jesse replied. “I told Dr. B I think I’m addicted to you.”

Saul raised an eyebrow. “And what did he say?”

“He said it was something called the honeymoon phase, or some shit like that.”

“Honeymoon phase, huh?” Saul reached over and closed his hand around Jesse’s. “What say after we get your bong, we find a nice dark place to park and try out the backseat?”

Jesse lifted Saul’s hand to his mouth and sucked on his index finger. “How about we find a place to park before I get the bong?”

Saul blew out his breath and adjusted himself. “Kid, I like the way you think.”

0 0 0

Kim looked at the back door when it opened. “I’m making grilled cheese if you want one.”

“Awesome!” Jesse set his bong down on the counter and took off his coat. He yawned and stretched after he hung up his coat.

“Yes, please,” Saul said after hanging up his coat. “What?” he asked when Kim snickered.

Jesse looked at Saul and laughed. “Dude, your shirt’s all buttoned up wrong.”

“Gee, I wonder how that happened.” Saul undid and redid the misaligned buttons on his shirt as he walked over to the counter and sat on one of the stools. “Need any help?”

“If you guys want soup, pick out a flavor.”

Saul looked at Jesse. “Tomato?”

“What else would you have with grilled cheese?”

Saul nodded. “Silly question.” He got up and retrieved a large can of tomato soup from the cupboard and carried it to the stove.

Kim put three more sandwiches into the pan before walking over to where Jesse was standing. She pointed at the bong. “Nice.”

Jesse shook his head. “I didn’t remember they made so many different ones. I finally gave up and told Saul to pick one.”

Kim picked up the glass bong and examined it. “Great colors.” She smiled at Jesse. “You going to try it out tonight?”

Jesse shrugged. “I dunno. I’ll see how I feel after I eat, but right now I kind’a feel all dragged out.”

“What can I say?” Saul remarked from the stove as he flipped the sandwiches. “I’m a lean, mean love machine.”

Jesse and Kim exchanged grins, then Kim placed her hand against Jesse’s forehead. “You feel a little warm. Hang on a sec.” She left the room.

Jesse dropped down onto a stool and rested his chin in his hand as he let out a long sigh. “Dude, I think you broke me.”

Saul carefully studied the younger man, then shut off the stove and went to him. “Your cheeks are flushed.” He put his hand against Jesse’s forehead too. “Yeah, you are warm. Other than feeling dragged out, anything hurt?”

“My eyes. I guess maybe my throat a little.”

Kim walked back into the room carrying a thermometer. “Here, let’s check this.” When Jesse opened his mouth, she slid the tip under his tongue, then removed it when it beeped. She sighed. “One oh one point three.”

Jesse frowned. “What’s that mean?”

“It means go get comfortable on the sofa and I’ll bring you your dinner. And then you’re going to take some medicine and go to bed,” Saul stated.

“Should I sleep on the sofa so I don’t get you guys sick?”

“Well, I think it’s probably too late for me,” Saul admitted. “Especially after the drive home.” He looked at Kim. “Would you like to sleep on the sofa so we don’t get you sick?”

“I think I’ll be okay,” Kim replied. “I’ll take some vitamin C and drink some tea with lemon and honey.” She rubbed Jesse’s shoulder. “You should drink some orange juice with supper.”

Jesse nodded weakly. “Maybe I’ll just have orange juice.”

“Go sit down,” Kim instructed. “Jimmy, can you get his juice while I get him some food?”

“Sure.” Saul kissed Jesse on the cheek, then went to get a glass from the cupboard while Jesse shuffled to the table and sat down.

“Thanks,” Jesse said when Saul put a glass of juice in front of him before Kim put down a bowl of soup and a plate with a sandwich on it.

“I know you may not feel hungry,” Kim brushed some hairs from Jesse’s forehead, “but anything you can eat will help your body fight off whatever bug you picked up.”

Jesse nodded as he picked up the sandwich and took a bite. After he swallowed, he said, “I kind’a felt tired today, but I didn’t start feeling bad until we just got home.”

Saul put down his juice and picked up his sandwich and dipped it in his soup. “Hopefully, since it came on so fast, that means it just a twenty-four-hour thing.”

Jesse ate a spoonful of soup. “Why are they always twenty-four-hours? Why not twenty-one or thirty or something?”

Kim smiled. “I think they call it that because they only seem to last a day.”

Jesse put down his spoon and pushed back his chair. “I’m sorry, but I gotta go lay down. No, don’t get up,” he added when he saw both Kim and Saul start to move. “Finish your dinner. I can tuck myself in.”

“I’ll be in in a little while,” Saul said as Jesse left. He looked sympathetically at Kim. “Poor kid, he really is sick.”

“It was bound to happen sooner or later.” Kim finished her soup. “I’m not surprised it was him, since his immune system is still probably not up to where it should be.” She shot an amused glance at Saul. “So how much cross-contamination went on in the car?”

Saul sighed. “Let’s just leave it at body fluids were exchanged.”

Kim stood and picked up her and Jesse’s dishes. “I’ll make enough tea for two.”

Saul finished his sandwich, stood and gathered his dished. “That’s okay. I think I’m going to stick with the old Irish cure.”

Kim took Saul’s dishes and put them in the sink with hers. “Hmm, on second thought, I think I’ll join you.”

Saul smiled. “Great, I have a bottle of Glenlivit eighteen-year-old single malt that I’ve been keeping for a special occasion.” He got down the bottle and two glasses. “I think fighting off the plague is special enough, don’t you?”

“Absolutely.” Kim took her glass and held it up. “Wise, kind, gentle, generous, sexy ... but enough about me. Here's to you.” She tapped her glass to Saul’s and swallowed the dark brown liquid. “Ooh, that’s smooth.”

Saul nodded as he swallowed. “That tasted like another.” He refilled their glasses, then held his aloft. “Here's to you. You may not be as wise as an owl, but you're always a hoot.”

“Ching! Ching!” Kim tapped their glasses together before downing the shot in one gulp. She inhaled deeply. “Okay, I think that’s enough medicine for me.”

“I think I’ll have one more,” Saul decided, refilling his glass, “since I had intimate contact with patient zero.” He screwed the lid on the bottle and put it back in the cupboard, then took his glass and sipped from it. “I can’t believe it’s almost the new year.”

Kim came over and leaned against the counter next to Saul. “It’s got to be better than the old one.”

Saul snorted. “Here’s hoping.” He took another sip and shook his head. “Six months ago I was living my horrible lonely existence in Omaha, thinking Jesse was dead and that I’d probably never see you again.” He smiled softly at Kim. “And now look at me: I couldn’t ask for anything more.”

Kim smiled fondly, then she froze before turning and throwing up in the sink. “Oh my god,” she moaned when she was finished, rubbing her stomach. “Oh Jimmy...”

“Go, go,” Saul urged. “I’ll clean this up.”

Kim nodded as she hurried from the room.

Saul downed the last of his scotch and looked skyward. “If I have a choice, can I have it without the vomiting. Please?”

0 0 0

Robert entered Tony’s office and sat down on the edge of the doctor’s desk. “Let’s pick up Thai on the way home.”

“Sounds good. Let me check my email and then I’ll be ready to go.” Tony woke his computer, then paused to look at the screen and frowned slightly.

Robert leaned forward a little. “Is anything wrong?”

Tony shook his head. “Not really. I asked personnel to recheck one of the new employee’s references and they just sent back a note saying they checked out fine.”

“Is it that Richie guy in maintenance? Or is it janitorial?” At Tony’s questioning look, Robert added, “He gives me the heebie jeebies.”

“Apparently, you’re not the only one.” Tony shut down his computer and stood. “Unfortunately, you can’t dismiss someone for being a little weird.”

“I guess.” Robert stood. “Otherwise we’d lose half of our research staff. Don’t look at me like that,” he admonished. “You know it’s true.”

“Just go,” Tony said in mock exasperation as he waved Robert through the door, giving the younger man a playful swat on the ass.

0 0 0

“I know it’s cold,” Kim replied impatiently, “but I want to air out at least the bedroom.”

“Why don’t we just spray everything with Lysol?” Jesse asked as he grabbed up the last of the bed linens to take to the laundry room.

“I’m going to do that too.” Kim finished dusting all of the hard surfaces. “I want to start the new year with a germ-free environment.”

“Okie dokie,” Jesse said under his breath as he carried his load out into the hall, through the living room and dining room and into the kitchen where Saul sat drinking a cup of coffee and reading the paper. “Don’t go in the bedroom,” he warned. “Kim’s gone crazy.”

Saul casually turned a page. “Yeah, her fever probably fried her brain. Best to give her a wide berth until she can regrow some of it.”

Jesse dropped his load onto the floor, put the clothes from the washer into the dryer and then stuffed the dirty linens into the washer. After he started up both machines, he turned to Saul. “Hey, I think I’m gonna try out my snowshoes.”

Saul glanced at the younger man. “Oh yeah? Where are you thinking about going?”

Jesse shrugged. “Probably just up the logging road.”

Saul grinned. “Going to see how the furry neighbors are doing?”

“No, it’s just the smoothest ground, is all.”

“Uh huh.” Saul returned his attention to the paper. “You better take a snack with you, so you don’t starve on your walk. There’s a new box of granola bars.”

Jesse went to the cupboard and grabbed a handful of bars, then kissed the top of Saul’s head as he hurried back into the mudroom to put on his outer gear. “Be back in a while,” he said as he picked up his snowshoes and went out the door.

“Get back before midnight or we’ll start the new year without you!” Saul called after him.

0 0 0

Jesse moaned as he stretched out in the tub, savoring the hot water warming his chilled body. He glanced at the door when he heard footsteps, narrowing his eyes when Kim came in carrying a steaming mug. “’Sup?”

Kim put the mug down on the edge of the tub. “I brought you some hot cocoa so we can start warming you up from the inside out too.”

“Dude, you’re awesome.” Jesse picked up the mug, sipped it and gave a satisfied sigh.

Kim sat down on the toilet. “Not that I don’t really, really appreciate you working on finishing up the bookcases, but I don’t want you to get frostbite doing it.”

Jesse sipped and nodded. “I’m thinking about building a separate shop so I can have heat or a/c when I need it.”

“Oh yeah? Inside the barn, or a new building?”

Jesse pursed his lips. “I’m not sure. It’d probably be easier to convert a part of the barn, but I don’t know what we wanna eventually do with the barn.” He shivered.

“Poor baby. Would you like me to add more hot water?”

Jesse grinned. “I know something else you could add that would warm me up faster.”

Kim smiled as she stood. She took the hem of her sweatshirt in both hands. “And what might that be?” She pulled her shirt over her head and tossed it aside before slipping both hands into her waistband and removing her sweatpants and panties at the same time.

Jesse quickly moved to make room for the blonde, putting his arms around her and pulling her to his torso as she settled between his legs.

Kim slumped back against Jesse’s lean body. “Mmm, this is nice.”

“How come you always smell so good?” Jesse asked as he nuzzled her neck.

“I wish.” Kim shifted a little, smiling when she felt Jesse’s erection pressing against her. “Shall I help you with that?”

“Maybe later,” Jesse replied lazily. “Right now I just wanna hold you.”

Kim closed her eyes and let out a long breath. “Sounds perfect.”

0 0 0

“Hey, Rockin’ New Year’s Eve is...” Saul walked in the bedroom door and froze when he saw Kim and Jesse asleep on the bed, with Kim spooning the younger man. “Sorry,” he whispered as he started to back out.

“C’mere, JImmy,” Kim mumbled. “My back’s cold.”

Jesse stirred. “Put the cats in the fridge.” He let out a soft snore.

Saul smiled softly. “Let me go shut off the TV and I’ll be right back.”

0 0 0

“Okay, flip the switch.”

Kim looked at Jesse anxiously, then flipped the switch to the electric fireplace, smiling when the flames began flickering. “Oh my god, it’s beautiful!” She stepped backwards until her legs hit her chair and she sat, then pulled her throw blanket around her and threw her feet up onto her ottoman. She sighed happily. “My own little piece of heaven on earth.”

Saul looked around approvingly. “This looks like something out of a magazine.” He slung his arm over Jesse’s shoulders. “You done good, kid.”

Jesse nodded, satisfied. “We’ll get the bookcases painted this week and it’ll be done.” He looked at Kim. “What?” he pressed when he noticed she had her lips pursed.

Kim shook her head. “Nothing really. I was just wondering if we should get a couple of floor pillows for in front of the fireplace.”

“Oh yeah. Think we can get more’a that print fabric?”

“We should be able to,” Kim replied. “There was a lot left on the bolt when I bought that.” She grinned. “Maybe we should get a sewing machine while we’re at it.”

“No, that’s okay,” Jesse shot back. “I’m happy paying Chase’s grandma to do all’a the sewing for us.”

Saul nodded. “Never hurts to boost the local economy.” He studied one section of the bookcases. “There used to be a closet there, right?”

“There still is.”

Saul leveled his gaze at Jesse. “You know what I mean.”

Jesse slowly broke into a wide grin. “This is the best part’a the room.” He held his hand out to Kim, who took it and stood.

“What?” Kim asked as Jesse moved her over to the bookcase in question.

“Put your hands here,” Jesse directed, showing her how to reach up under one of the shelves. He stood back to let her move into position. “Now press up with your fingers while you start slowly walking backwards.”

“What?” Kim asked again as she did what Jesse told her to do, her mouth dropping open when the whole bookcase started moving with her.

“Keep going,” Jesse urged. “It’s on little wheels. Okay, that’s good.”

Saul smiled. “I’ll be damned.”

“It’s a secret hiding place!” Kim went around the bookcase to the small closet and flipped on the light switch. She clapped her hands. “I have my own secret hiding place!”

Jesse rubbed his nose. “Well, I was kind’a hoping you’d share part of it. You know, like, to keep some cash in?”

Kim closed her eyes, then opened them again. “No more worrying about that stupid suitcase in the back of our closet.”

Saul looked over the bookcase. “This is amazing, kid. You can’t even see the seams. What a great idea.”

“I got it from you.” Jesse shrugged. “I always thought your secret safe thing in your office was the bomb and I so when I saw that we were gonna hafta close off that closet to do the bookcases the way we wanted, I figured, let’s turn the closet into a secret safe thing.” He reached out and pulled Kim into a hug. “Or, y’know, a secret hide out.”

Kim slid her arms around Jesse. “You are the best boyfriend ever.”

“I agree,” Saul said as he put his arms around the other two.

“Wait, there’s one more thing.” Jesse pulled away from Saul and Kim. “Get in the closet.” As they complied, he grabbed two handles on the back of the bookcase and started pulling it back into place.

“It’s like a little safe room,” Saul realized.

“Yeah, except it don’t got all the bullet proof shit.” Jesse grinned. “I was thinking about not telling you guys about this and just becoming the all-time hide and seek champ, but...” He shrugged.

Kim giggled. “Oh my god, can you imagine? We’d never ever find you.”

Saul cleared his throat. “Okay, enough of the small space for now.”

“Oh, here.” Jesse took hold of the handles and turned them. He paused and then turned them again. “Hmm...” He tried another time and blew out his breath when nothing happened. He looked over his shoulder at Saul. “Probably just a little stiff from being new.” He clenched his teeth and really put his strength into it and still nothing happened.

Saul nudged Jesse out of the way. “Let me try...” He stopped and looked at the younger man with raised eyebrows when the handles turned easily.

Jesse clasped his hands together and put them next to his cheek. “My hero.”

Saul shook his head and pushed the bookcase out of the way, ignoring the snickering coming from Jesse and Kim.

0 0 0

Richie locked his front door and leaned against it, still shaken up from his confrontation with an enforcer from his loan shark out in the parking lot moments earlier. Blowing out his breath, he went to his desk, slipped off his hat and coat, sat down and booted up his computer. When the screen finally came up, he opened his web browser and typed in ‘DEA’. When the government website loaded, he looked for a search box. When he finally located it, he typed in ‘Jesse Pinkman’ and hit enter. He quickly scrolled through the information until he got to the part he was looking for: ‘Reward for information about Jesse Pinkman is $50,000’. He frowned. “Only fifty gees?”

0 0 0

Jesse groaned as he stretched out in the hot tub, trying to find a position comfortable for his aching back. When he heard the door open, he whimpered, “Robert, help me.”

Robert put his hands on his hips. “Oh. My. God. J.J., what did you do to yourself this time?”

Jesse looked up pitifully to the other man. “Finished getting the bookcases into Kim’s reading room.”

Robert looked heavenward and blew out his breath. Then he looked at Jesse and shook his head. “As much as I appreciate the extra business, you don’t have to keep finding new and different ways to strain your muscles.”

Jesse stuck out his lower lip. “Don’t yell at me. I’m wounded.”

Robert closed his eyes and sighed, then he opened them again and smiled softly. “Oh honey, I’m not yelling at you. I just hate to see you get hurt. How long have you been in there?”

Jesse sighed heavily. “I guess long enough.” He put his hands on the sides of the hot tub and grunted as he pushed himself up to sit on the edge. He grabbed his towel and started drying off before he lifted his legs from the water and turned on the edge, when he quickly dried off his legs. He stood and wrapped the towel around his waist before limping over to the massage table. He dropped the towel on the floor, then stretched out on his stomach on the table before jerking the sheet over his lower half.

Robert moved over to the table and pushed the sheet down to Jesse’s thighs before running his hands up Jesse’s back. “Oh my god, this is like a rock.”

“Yeah, well, it feels like I got hit with a sack’a rocks.”

Robert smiled as he went to get a warm bottle of oil, which he poured into his palm before started to massage Jesse’s lower torso. “Do you have anything like Icy Hot at home that you can put on these?”

“Gene put Ben Gay on me last night. It helped some.”

Robert continued working Jesse’s tight muscles. “You know, I was thinking about that scar you have on your hip.”

Jesse looked back over his shoulder. “Yeah?”

Robert nodded. “I saw this show on TV the other night, I don’t even remember what channel it was on, but it was about breast cancer and how some women get these really gorgeous tattoos on their chests to cover their mastectomy scars. And I thought, huh, J.J. already has tattoos so he knows how it feels to get one, so I thought I would mention it to you.” He shrugged. “It’s probably cheaper than laser removal.”

Jesse grinned. “Depends on the tatt. But that’s a good idea. Thanks for thinking of me.”

“You seem pretty self-conscious about it.”

“I just don’t want people to think I chose that,” Jesse admitted. “I mean, I ain’t into that white people are better than everybody else shit, you know?”

Robert smiled. “I know.”

Jesse resettled himself on the table. “Okay, Mr. Answer Man, who’s the best ink artist in the area?”

“I’ve heard good things about Mountainside Tattoo and Piercing down in Bellows Falls.”

“Is that far?”

“No, only about fifteen miles.” Robert started working on Jesse’s other leg. “Did you do anything special for New Years?”

“Nah. We went to bed before midnight. How about you?”

“We went to cocktail party with some of the other doctors from here.” Robert sighed. “As boring as it was, I wish we had gone to bed before midnight.”

“I wanna have some kind’a party to show off the house, but I don’t know when we should have it or who we should invite.”

“How about an open house?” Robert suggested.

“Ain’t that like when you’re selling your house?”

“That’s one type. But an open house is also a type of party where you say what hours you’re having it and people just come and go as they can.”

Jesse raised up on his elbow and looked back at Robert, wincing as his back twinged. “No way! That’s the kind’a parties I used to have at my house in, like, high school on Friday nights. We’d throw all’a the blankets and pillows on the floor in the living room and watch movies and eat pizza. It was the bomb!”

“Well, the type of open house I’m thinking of doesn’t involve blankets and pillows so much. They’re more about sitting around and talking and eating.”

“Yeah, exactly. We’d sit around on the floor and eat pizza and talk and watch movies.”

“Oh, so not so much like an... orgy?”

Jesse frowned. “Jesus, Robert, where the fuck did you go to high school?”

Robert covered his mouth as he burst out laughing. When he composed himself, he said, “You’re right. I don’t know why that’s where my mind went.”

Jesse grinned. “Maybe it’s a little of that, what do you call it, wishful thinking?” He laid down again. “Yo, you ever been to an orgy?”

“No. I did a threesome once with my boyfriend and a girl he liked.” Robert made a face. “I didn’t like it very much, but then I’m pretty much a six on the Kinsey Scale.”

“What does that mean?”

“That I’m about as gay as anyone can get.”

“They got a scale for that shit?”

Robert smiled. “Yes. Zero means you’re exclusively hetero and six means your exclusively homo, with varying degrees in between. So, three means you’re completely bi, in that you enjoy sex the same with men or women.”

“Huh.” Jesse thought a moment. “I guess Gene’s a three. Kim might be a zero. I never heard her talk about fucking no chicks before. I think I might be a three and a half, four.” He paused. “Four and a half.” He buried his face in his hands and groaned. “Thanks, Robert. Now I’m gonna wonder what number everybody is when I see them.”

Robert snickered. “I’m sorry. Let’s get back to the open house.”

“Yeah, okay. But how do you invite people?”

“An open house is very informal. You just tell people you’re having, for instance, a New Year’s Day open house from, say, ten to two. If they can come, they will.”

“It’s takes a lotta planning, right? ‘Cause we gotta buy a lotta food and shit like that?”

“No, no! That’s the beauty of an open house. At least around here. Everybody brings food. All you need to do is have the paper plates and plastic forks and some beverages. Everything else will just magically appear.”

“No shit?”

“Tony and I have hosted several open houses and that’s what has always happened. Folks around here are very big on hospitality.”

“So, do we send out invitations, or...?”

“Just make up a few flyers and hand them out. Word will spread, believe me.”

“Right on.” Jesse thought a moment. “I need a Kinko’s to print out the flyers.”

Robert waved off the idea. “Don’t worry about that. We can print them out on Tony’s computer. I even have a template saved from our last open house. All you need to do is pick a date.”

“Robert, you are not only the man with the answers, but you’re also the man with the plan.”

Robert looked proud of himself. “Thank you.”

0 0 0

Jesse saw Richie standing in the hall he needed to go down, so he steeled himself and started walking. “Hey,” he mumbled as he passed.

“Hi, Jesse.”

Jesse froze and looked back. “What did you say?”

Richie smiled. “I said, ‘Hi, J.J.’.” He frowned. “Are you okay? You look a little pale.”

Jesse swallowed. “Yeah, yeah, I’m fine.” He turned and quickly left the other man standing in the hall, unaware of the smirk on Richie’s face.

0 0 0

Robert entered Tony’s office and sat down on the edge of the doctor’s desk. “Let’s pick up big, greasy cheeseburgers on the way home.”

“I think I’ll get a salad. Let me shut down and then I’ll be ready to go.” Tony woke his computer, then paused to look at the screen. “I see you’ve been using company equipment for personal use again.” He leaned closer. “This isn’t us.”

“No. J.J wants to have a party to show off their house, so I extolled the virtues of an open house to him and helped him print out a few flyers.”

Tony sat back in his chair and looked at the other man. “One, I wish you wouldn’t bring people in here when I’m not here, and two, I can’t go to this.”

Robert frowned. “First, I didn’t let him out of my sight, and secondly, why not?”

Tony spread his hands. “I’m his therapist. There are rules about socializing with patients.”

Robert sighed. “I’m not asking you to take him to dinner and a movie. I would like you to accompany me to an open house at their place, at which there will be lots of other people to ensure nothing nefarious happens.”

“I doubt any of his other therapists will be there.”

“Oh my god. Are we in Victorian England now?”

Tony took a deep breath. “Robert, I’m not telling you not to go. Go, and have a wonderful time. But I’m not going.” He turned his attention to his computer.

Robert opened his mouth and then closed it again. He smiled. “Fine. I will go and I’m going to make up all sorts of ridiculous reasons about why you couldn’t be there.”

“Fine. If that will make you happy, then be my guest.” Tony stood up. “Any particular place you’d like to stop to pick up your artery clogger?”

0 0 0

Richie walked around the corner of the building on his way to his car. As he neared the front of the Institute, he paused when he heard voices. Slowing, he paused and peered into the darkness, his mouth dropping open when he saw Jesse getting into an SUV with a vaguely familiar looking man. “No way,” he said under his breath. Slipping his phone from his pants pocket, he opened his camera and snapped a quick photo of the two men before the cab light in the SUV went out. “What are the chances?” Smiling, he slid his phone back into his pocket and continued on to his car.

0 0 0

Jesse finished wiping down the counter and turned to face the table. “Yo, I forgot.” He went into the mudroom and pulled some folded up papers from his coat pocket. He carefully unfolded them as he walked back to the table. “Remember when we were talking about having a party? I thought it’d be cool if we have one on the twenty-ninth.”

“The twenty-ninth?” Kim echoed.

Saul looked up from the paper. “The Wexler House?”

“Yeah,” Jesse confirmed. “And Robert said people don’t go by house numbers around here, but by house names. I think Wexler House sounds awesome, don’t you?”

Kim stared at Jesse. “And it never occurred to you to, I don’t know, run this by me and Jimmy before inviting everyone in the immediate vicinity?”

Jesse swallowed. “But you said if I got rid’a the fucking snow people, we could have a party.”

“We mentioned that it might be nice to invite people over at some future time.”

Jesse frowned at Kim. “Are you pissed at me?”

“No, I’m upset that you didn’t talk to us about this before announcing it.” Kim took a deep breath. “Do you know how much work and planning...”

“No, but that’s the beauty of an open house,” Jesse interrupted. “We just gotta have paper plates and plastic forks and some beverages and all’a the people will bring food.”

Saul cleared his throat. “And who gave you this wonderful idea?”

“Nobody. I was just telling Robert about wanting to have a party and he told me about how easy open houses are.”

“J.J., I’m all for having a party,” Kim said. “But I’d just like to have more say in planning it.”

Saul lifted the paper. “Have you handed out any of these?”

Jesse lowered his head. “Just a couple to the nurses.” He lifted his tear-filled gaze. “I thought you guys would be happy we’re gonna have a party.”

Kim sighed. “We’d just like to discuss these types of things first. You know, the things that impact the whole family.”

Jesse narrowed his eyes. “Oh, you mean like buying a house. No!” He held his hand up to silence Kim. “You mean we all need to discuss things when it’s my idea, but you and Saul are free to make all’a the decisions you want, ‘cause you ain’t crazy.”

Kim stood. “I did not say that.”

“You didn’t have to,” Jesse shot back. “Every big decision in this family proves it.” He grabbed up the flyers. “And don’t worry, I’ll tell everybody tomorrow not to bother coming over, ‘cause my mommy and daddy won’t let me have a party!” He turned and stormed into the mudroom and yanked his coat off of its hook before rushing out the backdoor.

Kim glared down at Saul. “Thanks for backing me up.”

Saul spread his hands. “Hey, I think he’s right.”

Kim put her hands on her hips. “What?”

Saul shrugged. “Have we made any major decisions with him?”

Kim sat down again. “Well, he’s the one who’s always telling us he can’t make decisions.”

“He decided how to make this kitchen amazing. He decided to make a secret hiding place.” Saul sighed. “Face it, this isn’t...” he made a wide circle with his hand, “our house. It’s...” he waved between himself and Kim, “our house.”

“Nuh uh. We bought this house because it’s perfect for him.”

“We bought this house because we thought it would be perfect for him.” Saul paused. “The one thing he mentioned when we first started talking about buying a house was for each of us to have our own rooms to put our stuff in. I’ve got a fantastic man cave, and you’re a day or two away from having your retreat, but what does he have? Aside from some tools in the freezing barn?” He put his hand on Kim’s arm. “He’s proud of his home and he wants to show it off. Let’s let him.”

Kim put her elbow on the table and rested her head on her hand. “You’re right,” she finally said. “But you’re going to have to help pull this off too.”

“They don’t call me the host with the most for nothing.”

Kim licked her lips. “Nobody calls you that.”

Saul grinned. “That’s only because they haven’t been to one of my parties yet.”

Kim looked at the backdoor. “Should I go talk to him?”

“No. Give him a few minutes to cool down.”

“Okay.” Kim winced and rubbed her abdomen.

“Are you okay?” Saul asked, concerned.

Kim nodded. “I think it’s leftover tenderness from the flu.”

“Here, let me try something.” Saul put his hand in the middle of Kim’s abdomen and pressed lightly. “Anything?”

“Not really. You think it’s my appendix?”

Saul shrugged. “Not if there’s no rebound pain. Tell you what: if it’s still bothering you in a few days, go get it checked out, okay?”

“Okay,” Kim promised. “I’m probably due for my pap anyway, so I should find a local doctor.”

They both looked at the backdoor when it opened and Jesse walked in.

The young man took off his jacket and hung it on a hook before slowly walking into the kitchen. “Look, I’m sorry. I should’a talked to you guys about the party.”

Kim smiled softly and reached out to hold Jesse’s cheek. “And I’m sorry I made such a big deal out of it. I do think it would be fun to have a party. Why don’t we go sit down in the living room and you can tell us all about this open house idea.”

0 0 0

Richie shook his head as he stared at Saul’s photo on his computer. “Saul Goodman, what are you doing in Vermont with Jesse Pinkman?”

Pushing that thought aside, he opened his web browser and went to the DEA website again. “What the fuck?” he asked when he saw there was no reward offered for information about Saul. He rubbed his forehead. “Think, Richie. Now what?” A smile slowly spread across his face as he began to formulate a plan.

0 0 0

“What do you think about something like this?” Jesse asked Kim as he laid his pad on Saul’s stomach and quickly drew a rough sketch of a bookcase/desk combination.

Kim raised up on her elbow on her side of the bed and looked at the drawing. “It’s good, but what about something like this?” She held her hand out and took the pencil when Jesse gave it to her, then made a couple of slight changes.

Jesse scratched his head as he looked at the picture. “Yeah, yeah, I see what you mean. Here...” he took the pencil back and added a few more changes.

“Ooh, I like that.”

Saul lowered the book he was reading and looked at Jesse and Kim and the pad on his stomach. “Let me know if I’m in the way.”

“No, you’re good,” Jesse answered absently as he sketched in a few more details.

Kim smiled seductively at Saul. “You’re very good.”

Saul shook his head slightly and smiled as he returned to his book.

0 0 0

Richie checked the bullets a final time before pushing the cylinder back into place in his .38 snub nose revolver. “Okay, Jesse, this is it. Showtime.”

0 0 0

“Yeah, I mean I was pissed and sad and...” Jesse threw his hands up, “I don’t even know what else. I stomped out to the barn and then just stopped and asked myself what the fuck was I doing. I mean, why was I so fucking upset over something as stupid as having a party?”

“And what did you decide?” Tony asked.

“That I was pissed at them for being pissed at me for the same reason I was pissed at them.” Jesse spread his hands. “I mean, how can I expect them to start including me in making decisions if I start making decisions without them? If nothing else, I gotta set the example, right?”

“That was very magnanimous of you.” Seeing the confusion on Jesse’s face, Tony added, “That was good of you to take the first step in dealing with this issue.”

Jesse grinned. “Thanks.” He took a deep breath. “So, I went back inside and apologized and Kim apologized for jumping on me and then we all sat down and talked about it.”

“I am so pleased that you were all able to come to an amicable conclusion. Good job, J.J.”

Jesse nodded. “Yeah, so I hope you and Robert can come to the party.”

Tony hesitated. “I know Robert is planning on attending, but I’m afraid I won’t be able to come.”

“Oh. That’s too bad.” Jesse smiled. “But at least Robert’ll be there, so that’s cool.”

“I mean, I would like to attend, but there are rules against therapists socializing with their patients.”

“Huh. That’s sucks. Good thing Robert ain’t my therapist.”

“Yes. Good thing.” Tony studied the younger man for a moment. “How are things for you around here? Do you feel you need as much time here as you’re spending now?”

Jesse frowned, then looked surprised. “You think I’m ready to cut back my continuing care?”

“I think it’s something we should consider.”

“But I wouldn’t be dropping back to, like, an hour a week, would I?”

Tony shook his head. “Nothing that drastic. We could try a Monday, Wednesday, Friday full day schedule, or Monday through Friday half days. We have a lot of options.”

Jesse considered the idea. “If I switched to Monday, Wednesday, Friday and didn’t think it was enough, could I go back?”

“Absolutely. I want you to get the help you need, but I also want to encourage you to put the tools we’ve given you to use outside of these walls.”

Jesse chewed his lower lip. “Yeah, okay, I’ll think about it. And I’ll talk to Kim and Gene about it too.”

Tony smiled. “Good deal.” He glanced at his watch. “Oops, we’ve gone over. I hope whoever’s downstairs waiting for you isn’t upset about waiting.”

“Nah, it’s Kim and she’s cool. She’s probably jamming out to her radio.” Jesse stood and slipped on his coat. “Thanks, Dr. B. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Have a good night, J.J.”

Jesse left the office and took the elevator down to the lobby, breaking into a big smile when the doors opened to reveal Robert waiting for the elevator.

“Well?” Robert asked.

“I think he’s a little hurt that I’m more happy that you’re coming than being sad that he’s not.”

Robert looked smug. “Good.” He stepped into the elevator as Jesse stepped out. “Have a good one.”

“You too.” Jesse waved to a couple of people as he made his way across the lobby, then steeled himself against the cold when he pushed open the door and stepped outside. He hurried down the steps and over to the Jeep, pulling open the door, climbing in and shutting it quickly. “Hey.” He leaned across to kiss Kim, pausing when she didn’t respond. “You okay? What the fuck?” he added, jerking his head around when Richie sat up in the back seat.

“Everyone will be okay as long as they do exactly what I say,” Richie said, showing his pistol. “Now drive.”

Kim glanced into the rearview mirror. “Okay, you think you know who he is, so what are you planning on doing with him?”

“Oh, I don’t think, I know he’s Jesse Pinkman,” Richie taunted. “And I know the DEA is offering fifty gees for him.”

Jesse cleared his throat. “How did you find out about me?”

Richie smiled wolfishly. “Pure dumb luck. I was looking through the client database for some senator or celebrity that I could sell to the tabloids when I came across your picture. Most people probably wouldn’t have made the connection, but I happen to be, shall we say, an admirer of the great Heisenberg and I have all of the clippings about the case, including the one with your picture. Granted, you aren’t as young and pretty as you were when the newspaper photo was taken, but I happen to have amazing face recognition software on my computer. It didn’t even take a full minute for it to come back as a perfect match.”

“Okay, but why take Kim?”

“Insurance,” Richie replied. “I think you’ll be more cooperative if I keep the gun to her head instead of just threatening you.” He pressed the barrel of the pistol to the back of Kim’s head. “Am I right?”

“Yeah, man, chill,” Jesse said. “I’ll do whatever you say. Just don’t hurt her.” He thought a moment before adding, “I can give you a hundred gees if you let us go.”

Richie narrowed his eyes. “Where’d you get that much money?”

“What difference does that make? It’s yours if you let us go.”

Richie licked his lips. “You got all of Heisenberg’s money, don’t you? You got all of the money he stashed for his family.”

“No, fuck,” Jesse shot back. “This is my own money.”

Richie slowly moved the barrel of the pistol so it was pointed at Jesse. “You got Heisenberg’s fortune.”

“No, man, I don’t. Jack’s gang got all’a his money. I just got what I was able to take from Todd. It’s only, like, a couple hundred gees. But you can have it. Let Kim go and I’ll take you to it.”

“Jesus. What is it? Sixty million? Seventy million? More?” Richie muttered, dreamy-eyed.

“No, fuck, listen to me!” Jesse ordered. “There ain’t no millions, okay? There’s only two hundred thousand.”

“Stop lying, bitch. Of course, you would have his fortune. That’s why he let you go, so you could get it to his family.” Richie clenched his teeth. “But you didn’t, did you? You fucking little rat bitch, you took it all and ran and left Skylar, Walt Junior and Holly penniless!” He leveled the pistol at Jesse. “How could you fucking betray him after everything he did for you?”

Jesse looked aghast. “Fuck, you’re crazier than I am.”

“Shut up!” Richie screamed, raising the pistol above his head. Before he could bash Jesse in the head with it, the car suddenly swerved violently causing him to lose his balance.

0 0 0

Saul glanced at his watch again, then blew out his breath and stood up from the table. He wandered over and checked the food in the crockpot before leaning back against the counter and checking his watch again. Just as he started to reach for his phone, there was a knock at the front door. He hurried through the house and pulled open the door, surprised to see a man in uniform standing there. “Can I help you?”

“I’m Deputy Vince Hardwick,” the medium-built man said. “Are you Gene Taylor?”

Saul frowned. “Yes. Is something wrong?”

“I’m sorry I have to tell you that Kim Wexler was involved in a traffic accident up north of Russtown,” Robert replied. “She’s been taken to Alice Peck Day Hospital in Lebanon, New Hampshire.”

“Russtown?” Saul pressed. “What the hell...? Never mind. What about the guy that was with her?”

The deputy cleared his throat. “Unfortunately, the young man was ejected from the vehicle and declared dead at the scene.”

Saul rubbed his forehead. “Jesus. Are you sure?”

“Yes sir.” The deputy looked at his notepad. “Richard Michaels was Dead-On-Arrival of the first responders.”

Saul shook his head. “No. His name is J.J., uh, Jarrod Walker.”

The deputy frowned and flipped through his notebook. “I don’t have any information on anyone named Jarrod Walker,” he admitted. “Just Kim Wexler and Richard Michaels.”

Saul looked perplexed. “Who the hell is Richard Michaels?” He waved his hands. “Forget that. Where the hell is J.J.?”

“Do you know for a fact that Mr. Walker was with Ms. Wexler?”

“I’m not a hundred percent sure, but she left here specifically to pick him up from the Institute. Maybe that Michaels guy was someone they were giving a ride home to.”

The deputy held up his hand. “Just a moment, please.” He lifted his radio to his mouth and said, “This is unit three-seven. I have a relative of one of the accident victims from the Russtown crash who says there’s a good possibility that there was a third person in the vehicle. His name is Jarrod Walker. Description?” He looked at Saul and repeated the description Saul gave him into the radio.

“Ten-four, unit three-seven. We’ll send a unit out to investigate.”

“Ten-four.”

“Thanks,” Saul said. “Can I give you my cell phone number for when you hear anything. And who should I call if I find out he wasn’t in the car?”

The two men exchanged numbers and then the deputy left.

Saul shut the front door, took a deep breath, then turned and practically ran through the house to grab his coat from the mudroom and then he dashed back into the kitchen and picked up his wallet and keys from the counter before hurrying out the back door to the garage.

0 0 0

“Got a minute, boss?”

Tony turned to look at Dave, sighing as the big man walked over to him. “Please don’t call me that.”

Dave smiled. “Just reporting in that all of the 2010 info from the greenhouse has been turned in.”

Tony gazed evenly at the big man. “You know that has nothing to do with me, right?”

“I know.”

“Tony!”

“Robert, what’s wrong?” Tony asked as the young man rushed over to where he and Dave were standing.

“We just got a call from the sheriff’s department. Richie Michaels was killed in an accident!” Robert blurted out. “They called us because he was still wearing his ID badge and they couldn’t find any next-of-kin for him. Isn’t that horrible? I mean, the guy was weird, but...”

“Hey!” Saul hurried over to where the three men were standing, almost breathless. “Is J.J. still here?”

“Gene, are you all right?” Tony pressed.

Saul waved off the question. “J.J., is he here?”

“No, he left with Kim over an hour ago,” Robert replied.

Saul rubbed his forehead. “Shit.”

Tony put his hand on Saul’s arm. “Gene, what’s wrong?”

Saul took a deep breath. “A deputy just came by the house and told me Kim was in an accident up by someplace like Russville. He said some guy named... Aw, Jesus...” He rubbed his forehead again. “Ricky? Mike? Christ, I don’t remember. But this guy got killed in the accident, but there’s no sign of J.J.”

“Richie Michaels?” Dave asked.

Saul pointed at the big man. “That’s it. Do you know him?”

“He’s an employee here,” Tony reported.

“Was,” Robert mumbled under his breath.

“So they were giving him a ride home...” Saul began.

“I don’t think so,” Robert interjected. “J.J. didn’t like Richie.”

Tony looked at the younger man. “Robert, that’s conjecture.”

“No, Tony, it isn’t,” Robert countered. “J.J. and I talked about him and how he seemed to be following J.J. around. And it freaked J.J. out how Richie looked so much like his old boss.”

Saul looked back and forth between Tony and Robert. “Why am I just hearing about this now?”

“I told J.J. to tell you,” Robert told Tony. “But he said it probably wasn’t going to be the only time he ran into someone who looked like that, so he should just get used to it.”

“What boss?” Saul asked. “What did this guy look like?”

Robert thought a moment. “Medium build, bald, moustache and goatee...”

“Oh Christ.” Saul rubbed his chin and looked at Tony. “Heisenberg.”

Tony frowned. “That must have triggered J.J. every time he saw Richie.”

Saul sighed. “I need to get to Lebanon, New Hampshire. Kim’s in a hospital there. In the meantime, the police are going back to the crash site to look for J.J.”

“I can drive you,” Dave offered.

“Thanks, but I’m okay.”

Dave gripped Saul’s wrist and held up the other man’s arm to show how much Saul’s hand was shaking.

Saul cleared his throat as he slipped his free hand into his pants pocket and pulled out his car keys to hand to the tall man. “Only because Kim and J.J. would never let me live it down if I got into an accident too.”

Dave snorted. “True that. Let’s bounce.”

“Wait!” Robert said. “Do you have clothes for them?”

Saul looked confused. “What?”

“Clothes,” Robert repeated. “Theirs were probably cut off in the ER.”

“Uh...”

“Which one is the house key?” Dave asked, showing Saul his key ring. When Saul pointed out the correct key, Dave quickly slid it off of the ring and handed it to Robert. “You go get their clothes and bring them up.”

“Absolutely,” Robert agreed as he took the key.

“Master bedroom is on the first floor,” Saul reported. “There’s a big dresser. Kim’s on top and J.J.’s on the bottom.” He shook his head when he realized what he had just said. “Thanks,” he told Robert before turning and leaving with Dave.

“I’ll call you if I hear anything,” Saul told Tony. “And you call me if, you know...” He turned and followed Dave towards the exit.

Dave had his phone to his ear when Saul caught up to him. “Yeah, can you go check it out? Yeah. And call the S&R team and tell them to go scour the area around the crash site by Russtown. J.J. is missing. Yep. Later.” He hung up the phone and looked at Saul. “They’ll find him.”

Saul opened the passenger door of his SUV and got it. “Why would he leave?” he wondered aloud.

“We’ll have to ask him. Good news is that since he ran away, we know he survived the crash.”

Saul glanced at Dave. “Yeah.”

0 0 0

“Can someone please tell me if they’ve found J.J. yet?” Kim asked as she looked around the frantic emergency room waiting area. She slumped back into her wheelchair when everyone ignored her and pulled her blanket tighter around herself.

“Hey, what are you doing out here?” Saul asked as he hurried over to where Kim sat.

“Oh, Jimmy, thank god,” Kim sobbed, reaching out to grab at Saul, clearly distraught. “No one will tell me anything about J.J.”

“They’re looking for him,” Saul reported. He looked Kim over. “Have you even been seen yet?”

Kim shook her head. “That’s not important. Where’s J.J.? Why did he leave the accident?”

“Hey, try to calm down.” Saul put his free hand on the side of her face.

Kim released his one hand and pushed the other away. “Jesus, Jimmy, I can’t calm down! You weren’t there! You didn’t see...” Her face crumpled and she began sobbing.

Saul picked up her hand in both of his. “I’m sure he’s going to be okay. You know how tough he is.”

Kim sniffed. “God there was so much blood. And then I saw the body bag...” She inhaled deeply and pulled her hand free to wipe her face. “Thanks.” She took the handkerchief Saul handed her and blew her nose. “I was only trying to save us from that asshole. I didn’t mean for us to get into an actual accident.” She swallowed. “It happened so fast but it seemed like it took forever. I knew he was going to kill me after he turned J.J. over to the DEA, so I turned the steering wheel as hard as I could. I only meant to make him drop his gun.” She turned tear-filled eyes on Saul. “I didn’t mean...” She started sobbing again.

Saul looked around. “Why don’t I see if they can give you a little something...”

“No!”

Saul held up his hands in a placating manner. “Okay. Can you at least tell me how you are? I’ve been scared shitless.”

Kim softened. “I’m sorry. I just... Nothing like that has ever happened to me before.” She took a few deep, calming breaths. “I’m okay.” She held up her left arm. “Feels like I might have sprained my wrist. A few bruises, a little bump on the head, but I’m okay.” She paused. “There was a pile-up on one of the local highways, so they’re triaging everyone and since I don’t appear to be hurt too badly, I’m near the bottom of the list.”

Dave walked over to them. “They found J.J.”

“Oh thank god,” Kim whispered. “Is he...?”

“He’s alive,” Dave replied. “Didn’t seem to be hurt too bad from the accident, but he’s hypothermic from being out in the snow. They should have him here in about fifteen minutes.”

“Thank you, Dave,” Saul said, relieved.  

Dave glanced around the busy area before looking at Kim. “You up for a drive?” When both Kim and Saul looked confused, he explained, “We should move you and J.J. to the Institute. He’s gonna need immediate care and I don’t know that these guys can give him that.”

Kim looked at Saul. “Yeah, I mean, I’ll just be sitting, which is all I’m doing here.” She turned her gaze to Dave. “But what about J.J.?”

Dave showed her his phone. “I’ll just tell them to reroute. He’s in a warm car with trained personnel.”

Saul took another look at the chaos around them and nodded. “Yeah, let’s do it.”

0 0 0

“I thought we could all use some coffee,” Robert said as he placed a tray full of mugs on the small table in the waiting room before taking a seat next to Dave.

“Thanks.” Saul took a cup and sipped from it. He looked down at the cup and twirled it in his hands. “This time last night we were all in bed,” he absently mentioned. “I was reading and Kim and J.J. were working on sketching out one of their DIY projects.” He grinned softly. “Which escalated into a game of extreme tic-tac-toe. It was... perfect. It was a perfect moment. Now she’s in surgery and he’s in the defroster.” He sighed and glanced around at the others. “What a difference a day makes, huh?”

“You’ll have more perfect moments,” Dave said quietly.

“Yeah.”

Tony studied Saul for a moment before asking, “How are you holding up?”

Saul shrugged. “I’m holding.” He shook his head. “Jesus, and they just had her sitting out in the waiting room.” He looked at Dave. “Thanks for thinking about having them brought here.”

“Didn’t want them to have to wait all night to see a doctor,” Dave replied.

Saul shifted his gaze back to Tony. “Do you think the delay in getting them treatment is going to complicate things?”

“I don’t think it should,” Tony hedged. “He’s been under warm blankets since they found him. And Dr. Nguyen said Kim’s condition hadn’t gotten critical yet.”

“They’re both tough,” Dave interjected. “He’ll be up and bitching about the snow in no time, and she’ll be riding herd over the both of you.”

Saul snorted, then looked at Robert. “Are you okay, Robert? You seem quiet.”

The younger man looked around at the others. “This just all seems so surreal. I had a bad feeling about Richie, but I didn’t think he was dangerous.”

“Desperate people do desperate things.”

Robert startled badly before looking over his shoulder and glaring at Rusty. “I swear to god I am going to put a bell on you, you and your freaky ninja skills.”

“Sorry,” Rusty replied, his big grin belying his apology. He looked at Saul. “I know this probably isn’t the best time for this, but I found something that I think might interest you.”

“No, please, sit down,” Saul urged. “I’d love to have something else to think about.”

“How are they?” Rusty asked as he sat down across from Dave.

Saul shrugged. “Kim’s in surgery, and they’ve got J.J in the defroster. But they should both be okay.”

“Good deal.” Rusty reached into his coat and pulled out a small stack of newspaper clippings. “I went by Richie’s house and found these.” He held out the clippings to Saul. “Looks like Richie was some kind of Heisenberg groupie, or whatever. Anyway, this...” he pointed to the clipping on top, “is the only one that mentions J.J. However,” he pulled a sheet of paper from his coat and gave it to Saul, “he had some pretty sophisticated software on his computer and these were the last two pictures he’d run through it.”

Saul looked at the photos of himself and Jesse. “Shit.” He asked Rusty, “Will this be easy for the cops to find?”

“No.” Rusty looked at Tony. “There are photos of other famous people on his computer, which leads me to believe he made his living out of getting menial jobs at places like this, looking for famous people and then blackmailing them, or selling their information.”

“Wonderful.” Tony pursed his lips.

Saul sighed. “Only this time, instead of only selling the person’s name, he was going to sell the person.”

“Looks like it,” Rusty agreed. “Fifty thousand is a lot of money to some people.”

Saul blew out his breath. “So, with this Richie gone, J.J.’s probably safe for now?”

“I didn’t see any evidence that he was working with anyone else,” Rusty replied. He studied Saul for a moment. “From what little I was able to find out, it looks like Kim was too rattled at the accident scene to give the police any sort of coherent statement, so no one suspects foul play at this point.”

“And that pile-up probably took all of their resources off of following up on a single car accident,” Dave added.

Tony leaned forward slightly. “Then no one knows about the kidnapping except us?”

Rusty shrugged. “It appears that way.” He glanced at Saul. “If they do come for a report, do you think Kim will be open to letting the police think she and J.J. were just giving Richie a ride someplace?”

Saul rubbed his forehead. “I can’t answer for her, but I think if she believes it will protect J.J. to tell the police that, she’ll probably be open to it. Especially if all she has to do is forget to mention a couple of things.”

Rusty grinned. “Great. Then I think this is a pretty open and shut case of bad luck on an icy road.”

“What about the gun?” Saul pressed. “Won’t the police question why he had a gun with him?”

Rusty frowned. “What gun? The police didn’t find a gun.”

“It must have been lost when Richie was thrown from the car,” Dave speculated. “And they wouldn’t have had reason to look for one in a simple traffic accident.”

Saul slumped back into his chair and sighed heavily. “Wow, this might turn out okay after all.”

Robert cleared his throat. “Uh, what are we talking about?”

Saul nodded at Tony, who turned to Robert and quietly started explaining about Jesse’s true identity.

0 0 0

Saul, Dave, Tony and Robert stared in the window at Jesse’s still form, the hissing and beeping of machines filling the silence. They all looked at the door when Dr. Marian Russo-Logan came out into the hall. “Hey, guys, don’t look so glum.”

Saul asked, “How is he?”

“Doing fairly well, actually,” the doctor replied. “Even though his core temperature had dropped down to eighty-eight point nine, they got him in here before he suffered cardiac arrest, which is a big plus for hypothermia survival rates.” The doctor glanced inside the room. “We have him on ECMO right now, which blows warm air into his chest cavity, and we’re running his blood through a warmer. He had mild frostbite on his extremities, except for his left foot. He somehow got a hole in that shoe so the small toe and half of the one next to it will have to be amputated because gangrene has already set in.”

Robert frowned. “Awww...”

Dave gave a curt nod. “Shoe got mangled in the greenhouse today.”

“A toe and a half seems like a fair trade for his life.” Saul looked in at Jesse. “Did he get hurt in the accident?”

“Not badly. It appears he hit the right side of his head on the window, resulting in a grade two concussion.” Marian looked at Tony. “Which could have disoriented him enough to cause him to wander off.” She paused. “We should have his temp back up into the normal range within the next couple of hours. Once he wakes up, we’ll be able to do a more thorough exam. You have time if you want to grab something to eat.” She smiled at Saul. “Try not to worry. There’s every indication that he’ll make a complete recovery from this.”

Saul nodded. “Thanks, Doctor.”

“Thanks, Marian,” Tony added.

0 0 0

“Tony?”

Tony turned from the stove to look at Robert. “Hope I didn’t wake you.”

Robert shook his head as he walked over to the older man. “I haven’t been able to really sleep anyway.”

“I know the feeling. Would you like some tea?”

“That sounds perfect. We still have some pumpkin bread.” Robert went to one of the cupboards and pulled out a foil-wrapped loaf. As he began slicing it, he said, “I think what bothers me most about this whole thing is that it happened at the Institute.” He glanced at Tony. “I’ve always felt so safe there. But now...”

Tony shut off the stove and went to Robert, wrapping his arms around the younger man. “I’ve been too idealistic when it comes to personnel. I’ve just assumed that since we’re a world-class organization, that we would only attract world-class people.”

Robert tilted his head back to meet Tony’s gaze. “It’s not all on you, you know? You’re only one member of the board. And I think, for the most part, everyone working there is world-class.” He smiled and hugged Tony tighter. “The doctors and nurses definitely are.”

Tony smiled. “Definitely.” He paused. “I’m going to look into possibly having Rusty vet our new hires. He seems to have a much more thorough network than what we’re currently using.”

“Good idea.” Robert thought a moment. “I’m not sure who got the information about this whole fiasco to the media, but the only coverage I’ve seen only reported that one person died in a single car accident.”

“I saw Rusty and Gene speaking to someone at one point,” Tony said. He shook his head. “This could have really been a publicity nightmare for the Institute.”

“Well, it was a nightmare anyway.” Robert sighed. “I hope this doesn’t affect J.J. too badly. He already seems to carry the guilt of the world on his shoulders, and now to have that jerk kidnap him and Kim...” He paused. “And he’s going to be devastated when he finds out that Kim lost the baby.”

Tony studied the younger man. “Why do you say that? He told me he doesn’t want to have children.”

Robert sighed. “That’s what he says, but you should see the way he lights up around kids. The few times some of the nurses have brought their kids in, he’s all over them. I thought Shirley was going to have to pry Julio out of J.J.’s arms.”

Tony smiled, then sobered. “She wouldn’t have been able to carry it to term anyway, since it was an ectopic pregnancy. They’re lucky they got her in before the tube ruptured and she bled to death.”

Robert rested his cheek against Tony’s chest and shivered slightly. He pulled back a little to look meet Tony’s gaze. “I’ve been trying to imagine J.J. as a bad guy and I can’t.”

“I think he was basically a good guy stuck in a bad situation. He was being manipulated by an older man who knew what buttons to push.”

Robert visibly slumped. “Oh my god.”

Tony nodded. “But just like you, he got out and he survived.”

Robert smiled. “That makes two lost boys that you’ve saved.”

Tony kissed the top of Robert’s head. “Come on, our tea is getting cold.”

0 0 0

Saul blinked open his eyes when he heard footsteps, inhaling deeply when he saw a nurse coming in carrying a food tray for Kim.

“Sorry, I was trying to be quiet,” the nurse told Saul.

“What time is it?” Saul looked at his watch. “Damn, I didn’t mean to sleep all night! I need to go check on J.J....”

“It’s okay,” the nurse told him, smiling at Kim when she noticed the blonde was awake. “I checked on him right before I came in here. He was released to a regular room last night, so he’s just across the hall.”

“Oh thank god,” Kim whispered, smiling at Saul.

“Thank every deity there is,” Saul countered, relieved. He leaned over and gave Kim a quick kiss.

“So he’s all right?” Kim asked the nurse.

“His doctor can tell you more when she comes in for rounds, but he made it through the night without any complications and he’s sleeping soundly right now.” The nurse paused to raise the head of Kim’s bed up. “Would you like to freshen up before you eat?”

Saul looked at Kim expectantly. “Do you mind if I pop across the hall while you’re freshening up?”

Kim smiled. “Give him a kiss from me.”

Saul got up and walked across the hall, slowing his steps when he saw that Jesse was asleep. He stopped next to the hospital bed and looked at the younger man, smiling when Jesse began stirring before opening his eyes.

Jesse groaned loudly before muttering, “Yo, ‘m gonna puke!”

Saul looked around frantically, hitting the call button before picking up an emesis basin and shoving it under Jesse’s chin. “Okay, you can throw u...” Saul’s voice dropped off as Jesse’s filled the basin with vomit.

“Here, let me take that,” the nurse said as hurried into the room. She took the basin from Saul and carried it to the bathroom.

“Better?” Saul asked as he slowly eased Jesse onto his back.

“No,” Jesse moaned. “Head’s killin’ me.”

The nurse came out of the bathroom carrying a damp cloth, which she used to wipe off Jesse’s face. “Do you need something for your pain, J.J.?” When he didn’t answer, she asked again.

Jesse blinked at the nurse. “Who?”

The nurse patted Jesse’s arm. “It’s okay. You may be confused for a day or two. I’ll go get you something for your pain and to settle you stomach.”

After the nurse left, Jesse slowly moved his gaze to Saul. “You’re somebody, right?”

Saul opened his mouth and then hesitated when the nurse returned. “I’m Gene Taylor.”

Jesse moaned and raised a hand to his head. “Fuck...”

“Okay, J.J., let’s try to sit you up,” the nurse directed.

“I don’t think so.”

“You need to sit up so you can take your meds,” the nurse responded as she slowly raised the head of Jesse’s bed.

“Stop...” Jesse groaned and threw up all down his front.

“Oh dear.” The nurse stopped raising the bed and hurried over to start pulling the dirty clothes off of Jesse after she pressed the call button. She glanced at Saul. “You can wait outside if you’d like.”

Saul looked at Jesse, who had a grimace on his face and his eyes squeezed shut. “Yeah, okay.” He got to the door and glanced back before returning to Kim’s room.

“How is he?” Kim asked as soon as Saul walked in.

“He’s...” Saul shrugged. “He’s got a concussion, so he’s confused and nauseated.”

Kim winced in sympathy. “Poor sweetie. Well, hopefully, plenty of rest will make him feel better.”

They both looked at the door when there was a light tap.

Dave walked in carrying a tray, which he handed to Saul. “Figured you might not have made it down for breakfast yet, so I brought you some food and coffee.”

Saul smiled as he took the tray. “God bless you.” He paused. “Wait. Did you stay here all night?”

Dave shrugged. “He’s my family too.” He nodded at Kim. “Heard they might release you today. Figured you had to be strong to put up with these two.”

Kim smiled. “Thank you for taking care of them while I couldn’t.”

Dave blushed and ducked his head. “No worries.” He inhaled deeply. “I’m gonna go check on J.J.”

“Thanks, Dave.” Saul lifted the cover off of his plate and inhaled deeply. “I’m so hungry, even hospital food smells good.”

Kim giggled quietly and let her head drop back into the pillows, falling asleep to the sound of Saul eating.

0 0 0

Saul helped Kim shuffle into Jesse’s room. They stopped next to the bed and watched the younger man sleep.

Jesse’s eyes started moving under his lids and his breathing picked up as he started to moan. After a couple of moments, his eyes popped open and he tried to sit up, yelping in pain and falling back as he swallowed.

“Hey, hey! Easy!” Saul said as he put his hands on Jesse’s chest to hold him in place. “No sudden moves.”

 Jesse turned scared eyes on Saul. “Mr. White!”

“No, it’s okay,” Saul quickly assured. “Walt’s dead. He’s not going to hurt you.”

“Dead?” Jesse echoed. When Saul agreed, Jesse slumped into the bed and sighed in relief. He glanced up and noticed Kim and smiled. “You’re so pretty.”

Kim smiled back at the younger man. “Wow, they must have you on the good stuff, because I just saw myself in the mirror and I look like a train wreck.” She started to move away when she saw Jesse’s doctor come in with a nurse.

“No!” Jesse grabbed for Kim’s hand. “Don’t go.”

“It’s all right, you can stay,” Marian assured as she stopped next to Jesse’s bed. “How are you feeling this morning, J.J.?”

Jesse studied the doctor for a moment before asking, “Where’s Dr. B?”

“I believe Dr. Bulatti will be by to talk with you a little later,” Marian replied. “I’m here to see how your body is feeling.”

Jesse pondered the information. “I hurt all over, especially my head.”

“Do you remember what happened?”

Jesse closed his eyes and tried to concentrate, then grimaced and opened them. “I just remember Mr. White. And snow. Lotsa snow.”

“Do you remember how you hurt your head?”

Jesse frowned. “I hurt my head?”

“Don’t worry about it. You have a concussion on the right side of your head, so you may be confused for a few days. You’re going to have to rest until it gets better. Also, your body aches because you got hypothermic yesterday. Too cold,” Marianne explained when she saw the confusion on Jesse’s face. “You got very, very cold so we had to put you under warm blankets and run warm IV’s into you. You got frostbite on your feet. They’re okay now, but I’m afraid you lost one toe and part of another.”

Jesse’s frown deepened. “Did you check my shoe? Maybe they’re in there.”

The doctor pursed her lips. “I mean we had to remove them.”

“You cut ‘em off?”

“Yes. They were too damaged to save.”

“Can I have ‘em?”

“Eww, J.J....” Kim groaned while Saul hid a grin behind his hand.

“No, I’m sorry, but it was disposed of. J.J.?” When Jesse merely stared off into space in response, the doctor pulled out her penlight and said to the nurse, “Time this. Excuse me.” She gently pushed passed the nurse and carefully checked Jesse’s pupil reaction.

Jesse blinked and looked at the doctor. “If you cut anything else off, can you give it to me?”

“If we do, I will,” Marian replied, patting Jesse on the arm. She looked at the nurse.

“Forty-two seconds.”

Marian nodded. “Let’s get another cat scan and then we’ll set him up with an EEG.” She returned her attention to Jesse. “Are you hungry? We can get you something light, like toast, or...?”

“Yeah, toast,” Jesse interrupted. “But no butter. And orange juice?”

“I’ll have them send that right up. Now, I’m going to take Kim and Gene for a minute while Lois helps you get cleaned up. Then you’re going to have a couple more tests and then we’ll go from there, okay?”

“Can I have waffles instead?”

“I’ll have them send both, and then you can decide.”

“Awesome,” Jesse said around a big yawn.

Marian went out into the hall and waited for Kim and Saul to join her.

“What just happened?” Kim asked softly.

“It appears as though he just had a small Post-Traumatic Seizure,” the doctor replied quietly.

Saul frowned. “Seizure? But wouldn’t he have been shaking?”

“No, not with a small one. And before you get too concerned, let me assure you that it’s not at all unusual for patients suffering a trauma to the brain to have a seizure.”

“Will he always have them?” Kim pressed.

“I doubt it. The closer to the trauma that the patient seizes, the less likely they are to have any follow up seizures.”

“So this was a good thing?” Saul asked, skeptical.

Marian shrugged slightly. “As far as seizures go, you could say that.”

Kim thought a moment. “So the other tests...”

“Are just me being thorough,” Marian admitted.

“You’re not going to get any arguments from me,” Saul stated.

“Yes, thank you, doctor,” Kim added.

“Why don’t you get back to bed and relax,” the doctor told Kim. “I saw Dr. Nguyen out on rounds, so he should be here shortly. And I’ll let you know J.J.’s test results as soon as I get them.”

“Thanks.” Saul watched the doctor leave before turning his attention back to Kim. He motioned for her to return to her room. “Up you go,” he said, patting her pillows. Once she was settled in, he pulled her blankets up.

0 0 0

Dr. Jeremy Nguyen put his stethoscope back around his neck and smiled at Kim. “You’re doing very well. I don’t see any reason why you can’t go home.”

“I’d like to see how J.J.’s tests turn out.”

“He’s going to be a couple of hours at least, and then he’ll probably sleep after that,” the doctor replied. “You should have plenty of time to go home and relax for a while.”

Kim nodded. “I wouldn’t mind a nice, long shower.”

“If you wrap plastic wrap around your middle, you can even take a bath.” Jeremy smiled at Saul’s look of consternation. “To keep those couple of stitches dry. Just make sure you wrap it snuggly and a couple of inches above and below the incisions.”

“Okay, you convinced me,” Kim admitted. “A long soak in the tub is just what I need.”

“Since you never took any pain meds, you can even have a glass of wine.”

Kim took Saul’s hand. “Come on, I can hear the tub calling.”

Saul looked at the doctor. “If he asks about us, tell him we’ll be back later this afternoon.”

“Will do. I’ll send a nurse in with your release papers while you get dressed.”

0 0 0

Saul lightly tapped on the bathroom doorjamb before walking in and sitting on the side of the tub where Kim was soaking. “I made some soup.”

Kim smiled sleepily. “Thanks.”

Saul watched her for a moment. “You sure you’re okay?”

Kim nodded. “Like I said, other than a little tenderness, I’m fine.”

“How about...?” Saul pointed to the side of his head.

Kim drew a deep breath. “I don’t think it has completely hit me yet. As for J.J., compared to what could have happened, this wasn’t that bad.”

“Wow, way to put an optimistic spin on a shit storm.”

Kim smiled sympathetically as she reached out and put her wet hand on Saul’s thigh. “It must have been horrible for you, having both of us to worry about.” She studied him. “Are you doing okay?”

Saul snorted. “Ask me next week.”

Kim thought a moment, then asked, “Hey, you want to wash my hair?”

Saul nodded. “Yeah, I can do that.”

0 0 0

“Knock, knock.”

Jesse glanced at the door. “Hey, Robert.”

Robert walked over to Jesse’s bed. “How are you?”

“My head’s messed up.” Jesse studied the other man. “Do you know what happened to me?”

Robert nodded. “But I think they want you to try to remember on your own.” He smiled. “Did they say when you can go home?”

“They cut off my toes.”

Robert looked confused. “What?”

“They cut off my toes,” Jesse repeated.

“I’m sorry.” Robert watched as Jesse blinked a few times before keeping his eyes shut. He put two fingers to his lips then put them over Jesse’s head wound in a mock kiss. “Feel better,” he whispered before turning and quietly leaving the room.

0 0 0

Saul and Kim quietly walked into Jesse’s room and stopped next to the sleeping man’s bed.

When Jesse’s eyes slowly opened, Kim asked, “How are you feeling?”

Jesse blinked and rubbed his nose. “I dunno. Weird.”

Kim smiled sympathetically as she took Jesse’s hand in hers. “You had a pretty tough day yesterday.”

Jesse frowned, then he said, “Gotta do something,” as he tried to sit up, only to fall back when a wave of dizziness hit him.

“Hey, careful,” Saul directed, putting his hand on Jesse’s chest to hold the younger man still. “You need to take it easy when you have a head injury.”

“He was gonna kill Kim!”

Kim squeezed Jesse’s hand. “I’m okay. You just worry about...”

“This time!” Jesse interrupted. “What about...” He grabbed his head and groaned loudly, then took a deep breath and said, “What about the next asshole that comes after me?” He clutched Saul’s wrist. “Mike was right.”

Saul looked confused. “Mike? Our Mike? What’s he got to do with this?”

“No half measures.” Jesse licked his lips. “I gotta kill myself so this never happens again.”

0 0 0

Dave stuck his head in Jesse’s room. “How you doing?”

Jesse gave a little shrug. “I can sit up for more than five minutes without puking my guts out.”

Dave came in and sat on the side of Jesse’s bed and turned to face the younger man. “That’s good. You ready to get outta here?”

Jesse reached up to scratch his head, then winced and dropped his hand when pain shot through his head. “Now? I ain’t been released yet. And it’s, like, freezing outside.”

Dave scoffed, “Forgot you were a delicate little hothouse flower.”

Jesse sighed. “Get my clothes. But if we get caught, I’m throwing you under the bus.”

“Wouldn’t expect anything less of you,” Dave shot back as he grabbed Jesse’s clothes from the closet and threw them at him before heading out the door. “I’ll go get a chair.”

Jesse watched the big man leave as he began removing his scrubs, a smile slowly spreading across his lips.

0 0 0

Saul opened his mouth to speak when Kim interrupted him, “If you ask me if I’m okay one more time, I’m going to punch you in the arm as hard as I can.”

Saul closed his mouth, then glanced at the blonde. “Are you sure you want to do this?”

Kim sighed. “No. But I’m not going to let the two of you run around unsupervised with Dave and Rusty. You’ll probably end up overthrowing a small country.”

Saul raised his eyebrows. “It’s good to be king.”

Kim snorted and swatted Saul on the arm. “Jerk.” She glanced out the back window when she heard a car pull up. “That must be them.” She got up and followed Saul to the back door, smiling when she saw Jesse emerge from the strange van. “Hey sweetie.”

Jesse slowly made his way across the drive and up the steps. “Hey.” He gave Kim a quick hug and kiss, then leaned against Saul, who wrapped his arms around the smaller man.

“I only had to pull over once for him to barf,” Dave reported as he came up the steps behind Jesse.

Kim looked concerned as she ran her fingers through Jesse’s hair on the uninjured side of his head. “Maybe we should wait if you’re still feeling bad.”

Jesse pulled away from Saul and trudged across the kitchen to sit down at the table. “I’ll feel better once this is done.”

Saul pulled out the chair next to Jesse and sat. “Kim has a point: it’s not going to do you any good if you really kill yourself doing this.”

Jesse looked at the older man and sighed. “I ain’t gonna die from a bump on the head. I’m just gonna wish I could.”

“Have you had any pot lately?” Kim asked.

“No.” Jesse shifted his gaze towards Dave. “’Cause somebody was in a hurry for me to leave.”

Kim got up and retrieved Jesse’s bong from on top of the fridge, his baggie of marijuana from the freezer, and her lighter and carried them to him. “Here, smoke up.” When Jesse started to rise, she added, “No, go ahead and smoke there. It’s freezing outside and you’re hurt.”

Jesse frowned. “Really?”

Kim smirked. “Consider it your dying wish.”

0 0 0

Tony sat down at his desk and booted up his computer. Once it came up, he opened his email program and scanned the messages as they unloaded. Seeing one from Rusty with ‘Important’ in the subject line, he quickly clicked on it:

_Things are not always as they seem._

Tony frowned as he reread the message twice. Just as he was about to pick up the phone and call Rusty, his door opened and Robert came in.

“J.J. left this morning, before Marian could examine and release him.”

Tony slumped back into his chair, looked heaven-ward and blew out his breath.

Robert walked over and sat on the edge of Tony’s desk. “Is everything okay?”

Tony shrugged. “I guess we’ll see.”

0 0 0

Jesse sat next to Saul on the edge of the bed and watched as Saul finished reading the last notebook and closed it. “Other than being pretty fucked up, what do you think?”

Saul sat quietly, shaking his head as he handed the notebook back to Jesse.  He removed his rubber gloves and tossed them in the trash before turning sad eyes on Jesse. “Jesus, kid, I never imagined you went through all of this shit.”

“But do you think it would be enough for the cops?”

Saul snorted. “These are a fucking wet dream for the cops. Do you know how many homicide cases alone that these could help them close?”

Jesse bit his lower lip. “I just remember how that detective said he only wanted to fill in the blanks.” He swallowed. “At least maybe now Drew Sharp’s people can get some closure.”

Saul studied Jesse. “Are you sure you want to give these up? There’s a lot of really personal stuff in them. Not to mention some pretty detailed artwork.”

“I know.” Jesse thought a moment. “But they kind’a already did what I needed them to do, which was get all’a that shit outta my head. If they can help some other people...” He shrugged. “I guess all I need now is a suicide note, huh?”

Saul slid his arms around Jesse and pulled the younger man against him before kissing the top of Jesse’s head.

0 0 0

Kim stepped out of the van after Saul and paused a minute to look at Jesse. “Please be careful.”

Jesse smiled softly. “I will. I promise.”

Kim hit the button to close the door and stood with Saul as they watched the van drive away. She turned and wrapped her arms around Saul. “Tell me everything is going to be okay.”

“It is,” Saul promised, hugging Kim tightly. “Once this is over, we shouldn’t have to worry about any more assholes trying to track him down.”

Kim lifted her face to meet Saul’s gaze. “It’s a good plan, right?”

“It’s an excellent plan.” Saul inhaled deeply. “Okay, we should probably go find a bar with a TV.”

Kim glanced around. “There’s a sports bar.”

“Perfect.” Saul released Kim. “It’s show time. You go in first and I’ll be in in a few.”

0 0 0

Jesse got out of the van with Dave and Rusty and shivered against the cold. He looked out over the long expanse of bridge then down at the water flowing underneath it.

“Second thoughts?” Rusty asked.

Jesse looked at him and swallowed. “No, this is the only way to make sure nothing like that happens again. I can’t keep worrying about something happening to Kim or Gene because of me.”

Dave nodded and looked at Rusty. “You ready?”

Rusty nodded before he bent over and picked up a rock with his gloved hand and gave it to Jesse. “Put this on your note so it doesn’t blow away.”

Jesse took the rock then drew a long breath and blew it out. “Okay, let’s do this.”

0 0 0

Saul glanced around the crowded bar as he nursed his beer. He tried to avoid looking at Kim, who was down a few stools from him, but it was hard not to look in her direction. He looked up at the nearby big screen TV when it broke away from the game for a special news bulletin.

A tall pretty brunette was standing beside a large bridge trying to stay composed despite the wind blowing all around her. “This is Jennifer Hartley, ABC News, here at the [Arrigoni Bridge](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Arrigoni_Bridge) near [Middletown, Connecticut](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Middletown,_Connecticut) with what appears to be another strange twist in the Heisenberg methamphetamine case...”

Kim and Saul exchanged quick glances before returning their full attention to the TV.

“...Less than an hour ago, Charles Morgan of Portland, Connecticut, was driving across the bridge when he saw a man looking over the railing. Fearing the worst, Mr. Morgan tried to lure the man closer to his van to grab him, but when he reached out, there was a short struggle and the apparent suicide jumper broke away and went over the edge. Middletown police have tentatively identified the jumper as Jesse Bruce Pinkman because of an alleged suicide note left at the scene signed by Pinkman. Pinkman has been wanted as an accomplice in the Heisenberg case for many months now...”

“Oh my god.” Kim looked around and raised her voice when she said, “That guy delivered a pizza to me a couple of weeks ago.”

“I saw him working in a 7-11,” Saul added. “He sold me some cigarettes.”

Another woman at the bar said, “He worked at a gas station near my house.”

As other people around the bar told of their imagined encounters with Jesse, Saul and Kim separately got up and left the bar.

0 0 0

Tony startled when the door to his office swung open and Robert burst into the room. “What...?”

“Haven’t you heard the news?” Robert woke up Tony’s computer and quickly pulled up the CNN website. “Look!”

Tony quickly scanned the article about Jesse’s suicide from the Arrigoni Bridge and slowly smiled. “Brilliant. Ow!” He yelped when Robert punched him on the upper arm.

“What is wrong with you?” Robert demanded.

Tony rubbed his arm. “I thought we agreed to no physical displays of anger.” He quickly raised his hands when Robert made another fist. “Wait! Take a deep breath and I’ll explain.”

Just then Dave rushed in the door pushing Jesse in a wheelchair.

“Sorry I’m late,” Jesse apologized, flinching when Robert ran over to him and hugged him.

“Oh my god, I thought you were dead,” Robert explained.

Jesse looked at Tony. “Didn’t Rusty email you?”

“Yes, he did.” Tony pursed his lips. “A very short and vague quote.”

Dave snorted. “Yeah, that sounds like him.” He pointed towards the door. “I’ll leave now.”

Robert frowned at Jesse. “Wait? You staged your own suicide?”

Jesse nodded, then winced. “After that asshole Richie found out about me, I realized I wasn’t ever gonna be safe as long as I was alive. But since I don’t wanna die, I figured all I had to do was make everybody think I killed myself.”

Tony nodded begrudgingly. “Smart. And that was good thinking picking a place with witnesses.”

“But if you’re here, who went off the bridge?” Robert asked quietly.

Jesse bit his lower lip. “Well, let’s just say I owe you a resuscitation doll.”

Robert put his hand to his chest. “You killed Annie?”

“Dude, that was a mercy killing,” Jesse replied. “That bitch was freaky as shit.”

Tony laughed, then sobered up when Robert glared at him. “She was a little freaky.”

“Okay, I need to hear this from the beginning,” Robert stated as he pulled a chair over, sat and focused his attention to Jesse. “Why Connecticut?”

Jesse licked his lips. “I wanted to go to Niagara Falls, but it’s, like, seven hours away. That bridge in Connecticut is only two-and-a-half. I wanted to jump into water so if they didn’t find my body, it wouldn’t be suspicious. So we drove down there and I walked out onto the bridge and made sure I got my fingerprints all over the railing and shit. And I dropped my suicide note. Then Charles came up in the van and I walked over to it and hopped into the back and hid while Charles shoved Annie out of the front seat and pretended to struggle before he shoved her over the edge.”

Tony nodded. “That was pretty clever.”

“But who is this Charles guy?” Robert asked. “How do we know he won’t tell anyone?”

Jesse smiled. “Because he’s in a dumpster in Portland.”

Robert clasped his hand over his mouth. “Oh my god! You killed him?”

Jesse scoffed at the nurse. “No, Robert. Jesus. Charles was just a disguise.”

“Oh.” Robert blushed. “Sorry.”

“I thought I’d kill two birds with one rock, so I mailed a full confession to the ABQ P.D.” Jesse cleared his throat. “Now, maybe all’a those families can get some peace knowing what happened to their loved ones.”

“How did it feel to write that confession?” Tony asked.

“It was tough. Really tough. But after it was done and I read through it again, it felt kind’a, I dunno, freeing? It was like all’a that shit wasn’t bottled up inside’a me no more.” He sighed. “Look, I know we’re supposed to talk about how the kidnapping affected me today, but can we do it tomorrow instead? I’m beat and my head is killing me.”

“Oh my god. Is this a session?” Robert asked as he stood. “I’m not supposed to be here!”

“That’s okay,” Tony told the younger man. “This isn’t a session. We’ll have that tomorrow. Dave!” While the big man came back in, Tony told Jesse. “Get some good rest. And stop by medical in the morning. Dr. Logan-Russo wants to do a couple of tests.” He watched Dave and Jesse leave before turning his attention to Robert. Pushing back his chair, he held out his arms. “Come here you.”

Robert glanced around before pointing to himself with a questioning look on his face.

“Yes, you, you little cutie,” Tony confirmed, sighing happily when Robert straddled his thighs. He gently cupped Robert’s face and pulled the younger man in for a tender kiss. He searched Robert’s gaze when they broke apart. “What say we take off and go have a nice dinner somewhere?”

Robert kissed the tip of Tony’s nose as he rested his hands on the older man’s shoulders. “What say we pick up a pizza and go home?”

Tony grinned. “You always have the best ideas.”

0 0 0

Jesse switched off the TV. “Damn, how many people did you guys talk to? Seems like everybody around there had seen me. Although I think my favorite was the blackjack dealer in Atlantic City.”

Saul nodded. “Never underestimate the willingness of people to... embellish things, shall we say, if it makes them look important.”

Kim took Jesse’s hand. “It looks like your plan is working just the way you’d hoped it would. There are enough people willing to say they saw you around the area to establish your whereabouts, so it would seem logical for you to jump off of that bridge.”

“And using that dummy was also a stroke of genius,” Saul added. “It’ll break up in the water so that all they’ll ever find is your clothes, if that.”

Jesse let out a big yawn. “Well, this suicide business is exhausting, so I think I’m going to bed.” He paused, staring off into space.

Kim watched Saul get up and head into the kitchen before returning her attention to Jesse. “Are we going over to the Institute at the regular time?” When Jesse didn’t respond, she put her hand on his arm. “J.J.?”

Jesse inhaled deeply and blinked his eyes a couple of times. “Huh? Did you say something?”

“Regular time for the Institute?”

“Yeah. Dr. B wants me to stop by medical and get checked out first.”

Kim looked concerned. “Why do you need to get checked out?”

Jesse took another deep breath and cleared his throat. “Dr. Logan-Russo wanted to do a couple’a more tests on me this morning, but I left before she could.”

“J.J....”

“I’m okay,” Jesse replied as he got to his feet. “It’s just so I don’t, you know, sue the Institute if I drop dead.”

Saul shoved the last bite of something into his mouth as he returned from the kitchen, turning off the lights in the other room. “Of course you won’t, because you’ll be dead. I, however, will be all over their collective asses.”

Jesse studied the older man with a frown. “What’d you just eat?”

“Jesus, Jimmy,” Kim groaned when Saul opened his mouth. “Oh, you guys,” she added when Jesse pressed his lips against Saul’s. “You say I treat him like a kid and here you are feeding him like a baby bird.”       

Jesse pulled away and smacked his lips. “It’s good,” he told Kim. “Want some?”

“No. J.J., don’t,” Kim warned as the younger man stepped closer to her. She frowned when Jesse froze in his tracks and placed a hand on his forehead. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, just dizzy for a sec.” Jesse blew out his breath and smiled at Kim. “I guess I’ll have to get you later.”

“Come on, let’s get you to bed,” Saul directed, putting a hand on Jesse’s shoulder and moving him towards the bedroom.

Jesse moaned quietly. “Man, I don’t know what’s wrong. I was feeling okay...”

“Jimmy!” Kim reached for Jesse when the smaller man’s eyes rolled up into the back of his head and he collapsed, sighing in relief when Saul caught Jesse before he could hit the floor.

Saul grunted as he gathered Jesse in his arms and carried him to the sofa. “Call the Institute crisis line,” he told Kim as he gently laid Jesse out on the sofa. He exhaled loudly. “It’s probably just him being exhausted, but I’d rather not take a chance if it’s something to do with his head.”

“I agree.” Kim pulled out her phone and pulled up her list of contacts.

0 0 0

Kim shoved her cigarette into her mouth, grabbed Saul’s arm and looked at his watch. “Jesus, what’s taking them so long?”

Saul pulled the cigarette from Kim’s lips and took a drag. “They need to run the tests and then look at the results.” He took another drag before handing the cigarette back to Kim, looking around the atrium as he blew out the smoke. “This is a nice set-up. Way better than freezing your ass off on the back porch when it’s ten degrees.”

Kim glanced around. “Yeah, J.J. talked about wanting to build something like this off of the mudroom.”

Saul smiled. “I think we’ve created a renovation monster.”

Kim smiled before taking a final drag from her cigarette and putting it out in an ashtray. She wrapped her arms around herself as she and Sal walked back to the medical waiting room. “Weren’t we just here?”

Saul nodded from his seat. “Well, you know what they say about time flying...” He got to his feet when Dr. Logan-Russo came out of the examination room. “How is he?”

“Resting comfortably,” the doctor replied. “Did he act unusual before he fainted?”

“Unusual?” Saul echoed. “I don’t think...”

“Wait, he did,” Kim interrupted. “You were in the kitchen. He started to get up but then he just stopped and stared off into space. I asked him if he was okay and he didn’t answer right away.” She looked at the doctor. “Was that another seizure?”

Marian tapped her forefinger against her lips. “It sounds like it, which would explain the fainting episode.” The doctor pursed her lips. “I’ll be perfectly honest and say that J.J. over-exerting himself today was a dangerous thing to do.” She held up her hand when both Saul and Kim started to speak. “Luckily, there doesn’t seem to be any additional damage to his brain injury. But had he gotten even the slightest bump to that same area, we would be talking about a much more serious scenario, including the possibility of death.”

Kim looked concerned. “But you said it was just a mild concussion.”

“It was, and it still is,” the doctor assured. “But even a mild concussion is still a traumatic brain injury that requires the patient to take it easy for several days at least, to give the brain time to heal.”

Saul studied the doctor. “Did he have a seizure from moving around so much?”

“Given that his MRI doesn’t indicate any further damage to the area, it’s unlikely. As I said earlier, it’s not uncommon for a person to have a seizure after suffering a TBI.”

Kim clasped her hands in front of herself. “Okay, so just to be clear: J.J. is currently doing as well as can be expected with a mild concussion and isn’t expected to have any complications from this.”

“Correct,” Marian agreed. “If,” she stressed, “he takes it easy for the next week or so. Not necessarily complete bed rest, but as close to it as you can get.”

Kim moved her hands to her hips. “Oh, he’s going to take it easy, you can count on that.”

Marian smiled. “Good.” She paused. “Since I didn’t have the chance to go over his discharge orders with you before, there are a few things you need to know, besides him taking it easy. He will probably continue to exhibit the symptoms of a concussion for the next few days, including confusion, nausea, et cetera. He hasn’t regained his memory of the accident or his subsequent hypothermia.”

“So we shouldn’t talk to him about it?” Saul asked.

“It’s not a problem if you do,” Marian replied. “It’s possible he may never regain those few hours. Wrap his left foot in a plastic bag when he showers so his stitches stay dry. And make sure he bundles up when he goes outside.” She looked from Saul to Kim. “Any questions?” When they both replied negatively, she smiled. “Then I’ll go get him.”

0 0 0

“Hey, you’re supposed to be taking it easy too,” Saul told Kim when he saw the blonde carrying a tray laden with food to the coffee table.

“The doctor said no heavy lifting,” Kim reminded.

Jesse frowned as he looked at Kim. “Dude, I never even asked you how you were after the accident.”

“I’m fine,” Kim assured. “I only got a few bumps and bruises.” She held up her arm. “And the sprain.” She glanced at Saul, then sat down next to Jesse on the sofa. “There was another thing.” She paused. “Remember how I’ve been having cramps?” When Jesse nodded, she continued, “I was pregnant.”

Jesse’s eyes widened and a smile started to spread across his lips, but quickly faded. “Was?”

“I didn’t lose it because of the accident,” Kim quickly assured. “The egg was lodged in one on my tubes. I never would have been able to have it.”

Jesse quickly wrapped his arms around Kim. “Jesus, I’m so sorry.”

“I’m not.” Kim pulled back from Jesse so she could look him in the eyes. “I wasn’t lying when I said I didn’t want kids. While I was under for them to remove the embryo, I had them tie my other tube so there’s no chance of this ever happening again.”

Jesse put his hand on Kim’s cheek. “You didn’t have to take all’a the responsibility in this. I...” He motioned between himself and Saul, “We would’a got a vasectomy.”

Kim put her hand over Jesse’s. “Thank you for that, but it was a really simple procedure and now it’s done.”

Jesse stared into her eyes. “Are you okay?”

Kim nodded as she put her hand on Jesse’s cheek. “How about you?”

Jesse shrugged. “I meant it too when I said I don’t want kids.” He glanced at Saul again. “But I can’t help thinking how awesome a kid from you two would be.”

“Or it could have been the spawn of Satan,” Saul interjected quietly.

Kim looked horrified. “Jesus, Jimmy...”

That startled a laugh out of Jesse. “Asshole. Nice thing to say about your own kid.”

Saul shrugged as he sat down on the edge of the coffee table. “Kids are a crapshoot. I’ve seen lousy parents have great kids and great parents have lousy kids. Hell, look at your folks.” Seeing Jesse nod, he added, “And I mean the lousy parents with the great kid when I say that.”

Jesse drew a deep breath. “I’m sorry but I’m also relieved. Does that make me a dick?”

Saul reached up and took Jesse’s hand. “If you are, then I am too. But it obviously wasn’t meant to be.”

“They had me talk to a therapist,” Kim admitted. “She told me those feelings are completely normal.” She studied Jesse for a moment. “I wanted to tell you how sorry I am.”

Jesse looked confused. “For what?”

“That whole Richie debacle. I never meant for us to get into an accident. I was only trying to make him drop the gun.”

Jesse paused, thinking. “Wait, is that what happened?”

Kim nodded. “I swerved the car because he was going to hit you with the gun, but I spun out and lost control of the car and we crashed.”

“I remember Richie in the car talking all kinds’a crazy shit, then I remember something about losing my toes. Everything else is still...” Jesse shrugged, “blank.” He thought a minute. “Aw, damn, does that mean you totaled the Jeep?”

“No, it wasn’t totaled, but it needs some work.”

Saul cleared his throat. “After the accident, you took off in the snow and almost froze to death.”

Jesse frowned. “I did?” When both Saul and Kim nodded, he added, “That was pretty stupid.” He rubbed his chin. “I wonder why I did that.”

“That’s why you lost your toes,” Saul said. “Your left shoe had a hole in it and the snow got in and you got bad frostbite.”

“Aw man,” Jesse groaned. “I fucked up my shoe in the greenhouse.”

Kim nodded. “Dave mentioned that. What happened?”

Jesse opened his mouth and closed it again. “Nothing.” He sighed when Kim raised her eyebrows. “We were just screwing around. He was trash talkin’ me and I took off my shoe and threw it at him and he tried to bat it away with an iron stake but the pointy end tore open the toe of the shoe.”

Kim looked impressed. “Huh, that’s so much more benign that I was expecting.”

Jesse frowned. “What’s that mean?”

“It means that she’s not pissed,” Saul tossed off, “so don’t look a gift horse in the mouth.”

Jesse smiled. “Are we getting a horse?”

Kim’s eyes lit up. “Oh, that would be so cool.”

“We gotta fix the barn up first,” Jesse told Kim.

“When did we decide we were getting a horse?” Saul pressed.

Jesse looked at the older man. “You just said we were getting a horse.”

“No, I didn’t,” Saul insisted. “I said don’t look a gift horse in the mouth. That is not the same thing at all.”

“But why can’t we get a horse?” Kim asked. “We certainly have the room now.”

Jesse smiled. “And I know how to take care of them.”

Saul took a deep breath. “Okay, how about this? Since the barn needs to be fixed up first, why don’t we table this discussion until the spring?”

Kim and Jesse looked at each other and shrugged before returning their attention to Saul. “Okay,” they said in unison.

Kim looked at Jesse. “In the meantime, let’s talk about that atrium idea you had. I saw the one at the Institute and that was amazing.”

“I know, right?”

Saul shook his head as he watched Kim and Jesse start exchanging ideas about the new addition when suddenly his eyes filled with tears and he choked back a sob. He waved off the twin looks of concern that turned on him. Clearing his throat, he managed to say, “I think it’s finally hitting me that I almost lost you both.”

“Aw, sweetie,” Kim said as she and Jesse reached out and pulled Saul to sit between them on the sofa.

“Just let it out,” Jesse encouraged quietly as he and Kim wrapped their arms around their distraught lover.

Saul covered his eyes with one hand, letting Kim and Jesse keep him anchored while the sobs wracked his body as he gave in to the tension he’d been carrying around since he had first heard of the accident.

0 0 0

“Don’t you dare,” Kim scolded Jesse when the younger man started to get up off of the sofa.

“Kim...” Jesse whined. “I can’t sit here through the whole party. Besides, Dr. Logan-Russo said I could...” he made air quotes, “start resuming my regular activities.”

“Start resuming,” Kim emphasized. “As in, easing your way back into them, not hurling yourself headfirst into god only knows what with Dave.”

“Don’t worry, I’ll keep an eye on him,” Dave promised.

Kim looked at the big man evenly. “And who’s going to keep an eye on you?”

“I will!” Robert said as he appeared from behind Dave.

Kim slowly smiled. “I’m just teasing you,” she told Jesse. She put her hands on his chest and looked him in the eye. “You are a grown man who knows how to handle himself.” She leaned in and gave him a long kiss. “Now go have fun.”

Jesse smiled smugly at the other two men. “You wanna see my cats?”

Maggie approached the group. “Excuse me, J.J.?”

“Hi, Maggie.”

“I love those bookcases you made for Kim’s reading room. When you have the time, I’d like to talk to you about putting some in my store.”

Jesse looked surprised. “Yeah, okay. How about if I just come by the store next week? Is Tuesday good?”

“That would be perfect. Thank you.”

When Maggie moved on to talk to someone else, Jesse gave Kim a thumbs-up, which she returned. “Come on,” he told Dave and Robert, leading them through the kitchen where Saul and Rusty were talking with someone Jesse hadn’t met yet.

“Bundle up,” Saul called out to Jesse.

“I know,” Jesse called back.

Saul returned his attention to Rusty. “It’s really tempting, I have to tell you.”

“You don’t have to decide now,” Rusty assured. “I know you’re still on sabbatical. It’s just I can use a good man from time to time, you know?”

“Then this is your guy,” Kim said as she walked up and slid her arm around Saul’s waist. “He’s about as good as they come.”

Rusty chuckled. “That’s what I’ve heard.” He nodded at Kim. “Congratulations on signing up to take the Bar Exam.”

Kim smiled. “Thanks. Tony said the Institute is looking for a part-time lawyer, so I might look into that if it’s still open when I pass the Bar.”

“It’ll still be open.”

Kim looked over her shoulder at the doctor. “What a pleasant surprise. Robert said you weren’t going to be able to come.”

Tony smiled. “What? And miss the party of the year?”

“I think that one is downstairs in the bar,” Saul quipped.

Tony raised his eyebrows. “There’s a bar downstairs?”

Saul glanced around at the others. “He’s right. What are we doing up here?”

“I’ll catch up with you later,” Kim said as the men headed for the stairs. She looked at the backdoor when it opened and Jesse, Dave and Robert hurried in.

“Cats are up in the loft,” Jesse reported.

“And it’s too cold out there!” Robert added as he hung up his coat.

“Flatlander,” Dave muttered under his breath, ducking away when Robert swatted at his arm.

Kim smiled at Robert. “Tony just got here.”

Robert put his hands on his hips. “I knew it.”

“I brought my famous wings,” Shirley called out as she came into the kitchen with a toddler on one hip and carrying a large container in her other hand.

“I’ll take this,” Dave said as he reached for the food.

“And I’ll take this,” Jesse said as he reached for the toddler. “Yo, Julio, sup?”

“Okay, hold on, little man,” Shirley told Julio when the baby started squirming and reaching for Jesse.

“Oof!” Jesse made like he was going to drop the toddler before snatching him up in the air. “You must’a gained ten pounds since last time I saw you!” He smiled at Shirley. “Take your coat off and grab some food. I got this little dude.”

“Thanks, J.J.” Shirley watched as Jesse, Dave and Robert wandered off before turning her attention to Kim. “How are you?”

“I’m doing good,” Kim admitted. “Things are starting to fall into place, which is wonderful for a control freak like me.”

“I hear you.” Shirley looked around the kitchen. “So this is the remodel, huh?”

“One of them.”

“It’s beautiful.”

“J.J. planned it all out and did some of the work on it.”

“Oh, I know about the work,” Shirley admitted. “That boy was coming up to me for a hit of his oil at least twice a day, with his big old puppy dog eyes and his ‘Oh, sweet nurse Shirley, I hurt myself...’” Both women giggled. “But I’ll tell you one thing,” Shirley added, “I don’t think there’s anything J.J. can’t do once he sets his mind to it.”

“Hey, Shirley, those wings were the bomb,” Dave said as he carried the container over to the trash and dumped out all of the bones.

Shirley put her hands on her hips. “Dave, you better tell me you did not eat all of those wings yourself.”

Dave held up his hands. “No, the people in the bar downstairs did.”

Shirley looked at Kim. “There’s a bar downstairs?”

“Yeah.” Kim motioned with her head. “Come on, I’ll show you.”

Dave picked up a platter of nachos and followed the two women downstairs, dodging around them when Shirley stopped in her tracks.

“Oh my lord,” Shirley breathed, taking in the decor. She looked at Kim. “Do not ever let my Randall see this or he’s gonna want to do this to our basement but we need it as a playroom for the kids.”

Kim held up her right hand. “I promise.”

“Hey, ladies, what can I get you?” Tony called from behind the bar.

As Kim and Shirley started for the bar, Robert went passed them carrying a tray filled with Coke bottles.

“Here we go,” Robert said as he put the tray down on the table. “Don’t forget to tip you server,” he added as everyone started reaching for a drink.

Alice took a sip as she looked around at the lively crowd. “This is so cool. It’s, like, I really hate big groups, but this doesn’t really seem like one.”

“True that,” Chase agreed. “This is the awesomest party I’ve ever been to.”

“Where you going?” Malcolm asked Jesse when the other man stood up, still holding Julio.

“I’ll BRB,” Jesse promised. “I’m gonna check out upstairs, make sure everyone’s doing okay.” He shrugged. “Hosting stuff, you know?”

“Bring back food!” Chase called out after Jesse.

As Jesse passed the bar, Shirley asked, “Want me to take Julio?”

Jesse frowned and turned Julio away from Shirley as he kept on walking, making Shirley laugh out loud.

“That doesn’t bother me,” Shirley teased. “You can keep him. I got four more just like him at home!”

Jesse smiled at Julio. “Mama said I can keep you,” he sing-songed as he carried the toddler upstairs, chuckling when Julio cackled out laughing.

0 0 0

Jesse walked into the kitchen and paused when he saw Kim staring out the window above the sink with a wistful look on her face. He slowly walked up behind her, slid his arms around her waist and rested his chin on her shoulder. “You know what I like most about Julio?” he asked quietly.

Kim glanced over her shoulder. “That he adores you?”

Jesse smiled. “That too. But what I really like is that I can give him back to Shirley when he’s tired, or pooped his diaper, or I’m tired...” He kissed her shoulder. “The important part is that I can give him back to Shirley.”

Kim turned around in Jesse’s arms and sighed. “But you look so happy carrying a baby around.” She frowned when Jesse snorted. “What?”

“I’m pretty sure I got that same look on my face when I’m eating an awesome cheeseburger or when you got my dick in your mouth. Ow!” He rubbed the spot on his arm where Kim swatted him. He kissed her on the nose. “Baby, I wasn’t lying when I said I didn’t want kids, so please don’t tear yourself up about it.”

Kim inhaled deeply. “Okay. And, by the way, that was one.”

Jesse stared at her. “Baby.”

“That’s two. Keep it up and you’ll have used up your allotment for the year.”

Jesse smirked at Kim. “Why you gotta be such a hard-ass? Most women like it when their man calls ‘em baby.”

Kim widened her eyes. “Ooh, that’s three...”

Jesse looked shocked. “No it wasn’t!”

Kim tipped her head back and stared at Jesse with narrowed eyes. “Pretty sure it was.” When Jesse looked down and stuck his lower lip out, she sighed. “Okay, I won’t count that one.”

Jesse wrapped his arms around Kim and hugged her close. “I love you so much!”

Kim returned the embrace. “Even if I am a hard-ass?”

“Who’s a hard-ass?” Saul asked as he came into the room, walked over to Kim and Jesse and slid his arms around them both. “Did I not tell you that I know how to throw a party? We’ll be the talk of the town for days!”

Kim smiled. “That was a pretty good party.”

Jesse frowned at the blonde. “Pretty good? Dude, that was an awesome party!” He paused, thinking. “I really wanna have the studio, the study and the media room done before our next one.”

Kim sighed as she pulled away and went to sit down at the table. “Can we recover from this one first?”

Saul moved over to lean against the counter as he looked at Jesse. “Study? What study?”

“The third bedroom upstairs,” Jesse replied. “If you’re gonna start doing consulting work, you’re gonna need an office, right?”

Saul rubbed his chin as he pondered the idea. “You know what would really make it amazing? A...”

“Coco bolo desk,” Jesse finished.

Saul sighed happily as he walked over and cupped Jesse’s face. “You...” He shook his head and then kissed Jesse long and hard. “You are amazing.”

“And you’re drunk,” Jesse replied, grinning at the taller man.

“No I’m not. I’m... feeling good.”

Jesse put his hand on the side of Saul’s face. “Yeah, well if you were feeling any better... Mmmphf!” He stopped talking when Saul began devouring his mouth with hungry kisses.

Kim watched the two men kiss passionately for a few moments before casually mentioning, “In case anyone is interested, at my follow-up appointment yesterday, I was given the all clear to have sex again.” She smiled when two sets of blue eyes turned on her. “In case anyone is interested.” She squealed when Jesse came over, pulled her out of her chair and lifted her into his arms.

“Go pull the covers back,” Jesse told Saul. “We got some sex to make up!”

“Guess the party’s still going,” Saul muttered as he hurried to the bedroom.

0 0 0

Patrolman Arturo “Artie” Gutierrez walked into the Albuquerque Police Department breakroom. “Hey, Tim, I heard that Pinkman kid’s confession turned out to be a gold mine for homicide.”

Detective Tim Roberts looked up from where he was refilling his coffee cup from the pot. “Yeah.”

“Damn, just outta the blue, wham! The answers to so many questions.” Artie nodded. “Guess even scumbags like that little shithead can have some decency in ‘em.”

Tim made a non-committal grunt as he started to walk back to his desk. He put down his coffee and sat down. Pulling open his desk drawer, he lifted out a photocopied sheet of paper. He glanced around before reading it:

 

_Detective Tim Roberts,_

_By the time you get this, I will probably be dead. I tried to get past everything but I just couldn’t live with the guilt anymore._

_I hope these notebooks will fill in all of the blanks for you. Sometimes I couldn’t find the words so I drew pictures, but this is all of the stuff that happened after Mr. White made me start cooking meth with him._

_Please tell the DEA that Mrs. White only did what she did because Mr. White made her. She was scared for her kids and herself._

_Jesse Pinkman_

 

Tim closed his eyes and remembered reading through those notebooks when they had first arrived, reading of the horrible things Pinkman had seen and done.  He read the letter again before placing it back into his desk. Slumping into his chair, he sighed. “Kid, I hope that wherever you are now, you’re at peace.”

0 0 0

Jesse twitched his nose when something tickled it. Cracking open an eye, he saw it was Kim’s hair. He gently brushed away the offending strand, then slid his arm around her waist again, pressing in close to her. He sighed happily when Saul nestled in more snugly against his back, happy to be sandwiched between his two lovers.

 

**Author's Note:**

> This chapter was a toughie! I literally rewrote it 5 times before I was satisfied with it. Although I am calling this the last installment of the series, I will be writing more in this universe, because I really love it. Future additions will be posted as part of the series. A huge thanks to everyone who cheered me on.


End file.
